You’re Not the Only One Who Never Wears Lingerie

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Earlier this week I thought my abiding adoration of fancy, lacy, excruciatingly expensive lingerie was pathological in the face of the fact that I never, ever wear the stuff. It is beautiful, but no matter now much I want to be the kind of person who is secretly wearing sexy, beautiful lingerie under her baggy sweaters and boyfriend jeans, I never actually wear lingerie. It’s beautiful, but it’s not as comfortable as the stretchy, old T-shirt bra and beige underwear I actually wear every day. Even on formal occasions I don’t wear the stuff, because it shows under my clothes, and I care a lot more about how I look over my clothes than how I look when the clothes come off. But still, I keep buying the lingerie and thinking that someday I’ll wear it. But I don’t.

(Related: What Your Favorite Valentine’s Day Candy Says About You)

At the start of this week I thought I was weird. But now that the rest of The Gloss staff and readers have weighed in, I realize that we’re all buying fancy lingerie and pretty much none of us are actually wearing it.

“totally agree. i love the look and the idea of pretty lingerie, but most of it is super uncomfortable and/or scratchy. i still buy it because my husband likes it, but let’s be honest it doesn’t stay on very long :p,” said Michelle, who at least is getting some good, fun use out of the stuff.

Some of us do actually get some use out of it, like NYCnanny, who writes: “I wear sexy lingerie most everyday. I just like it.”

I’m glad someone is wearing it! I’d feel terribly silly if only Dita Von Teese were actually wearing her beautiful lingerie.

“I love the look of it and could spend all day looking at lingerie websites,” said Heather C, who is my soulmate. Even while writing this post I’ve been scoping out lingerie sales and thinking, “Well, you know, one more lacy bra wouldn’t kill me…” even though I know that if I wore it the lace and my nipples would show through my shirts and I would never actually wear it.

But a few of us do wear it, if it’s the comfortable stuff. And all of us need to go to assistant editor Sara Steinfeld’s house and rifle through her underwear drawers, because it sounds like she has an exquisite collection.

“I actually love it. I’m more of a bralette and bodysuit kind of person because, like you said, comfort is key, but in truth I have way more lingerie than I know what to do with,” she said.

Then again, it sounds like we all have drawers full of super fancy lingerie, and for a lot of us, those pieces probably still have all the tags on. Even Gloss Editor Jillian Lucas has a drawer of unworn beauties:

“I have a few pieces that I bought for myself as like a “I’m single on Valentine’s Day” present that I do love, but honestly I don’t think I’ve worn any of it,” she wrote. “I have some really pretty bras that I like to wear under sweaters because I have a smaller chest and don’t really need to worry about having enough support under a bulky sweater.”

I think the main thing I’ve taken from this exercise is that if a person can invent a fancy bra that looks like the highest of high-end lingerie with lace and ruffles and tiny little embellishments, but that doesn’t show through the clothes and feels as comfortable as that flesh-colored T-shirt bra that you’ve been wearing for six years and is just about to dissolve, that person will make a fortune. If it were possible, someone probably would have done it by now, but hope springs eternal.

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