Colin and Justin enjoy a little child’s play

Sifting, as we do each month, through the international mailbag sent via our U.K. and North American agents, we’re forever staggered by the mix of communiqués contained therein. Press events, product suggestions and invites are one thing (actually, make that three things), but it’s the design negative imagery we’re sent that really strikes a chord. As we mince and wince over snapshots of loathsome living rooms, bilious bathrooms and calamitous kitchens, we’re reminded that the world still has some way to go before design atonement is achieved.

And this month’s most frequently posted subject? Requests for advice on kids’ rooms and nurseries. Aye, it appears the stork has been extra busy of late and, consequently, making babies (babies’ rooms, that is) has become quite the CJ preoccupation.

Handily, we’ve first hand experience which makes it easy to talk about child-friendly environments. Indeed we once fitted out a fabulous nursery in our very own home. STOP. REWIND. Nursery? Well, we had to provide the perfect backdrop against which our baby could grow. Blimey, we can hear your minds working overtime as you absorb this statement. Yup, the aforementioned stork once flew over our Scottish pile to deliver Damien, our wonderful wee bundle of baby joy.

It all started after a gin-fuelled evening (doesn’t it always?) with American supermodel Caprice. Now we’ve got your attention! Supermodel? Believe us, there was absolutely NO biological element to this parenting situation. Caprice declared (while, ahem, chatting lingerie design, make-up tips and party frocks) that she’d never really considered motherhood, while we countered her pleadings, explaining how much we’d love the opportunity to become dads.

Hmm. What is it they say? “Be careful what you wish for.” Anyway, to cut a long story short, a TV production company at the time were scouting participants for a ground-breaking reality show and we were approached to take part in an experiment to “raise” an animatronics $150,000 baby over the course of a week-long observation. Several meetings later, Caprice was also on board and our — un-biological — gestation began.

Scared yet? Wondering how it all went? Well, over the course of a week Caprice managed to drop her baby on the floor (thereby dislocating one of his arms) and we almost poisoned ours by feeding him curdled milk. “But if he was a robot,” we hear you cry, “could he actually be poisoned?” Well, actually, yes. Notionally, at least; bear in mind we were under the watchful eye of a group of antenatal nurses and a child psychologist.

Our little lad could also pee and soil his diaper, these functions being controlled (to test us) by radio. Come to think of it, he did a mean line in projectile vomit and an even meaner line in ear splitting screams. Aye, he was a difficult mite to say the very least, but we shall never forget the time we cared for him. OK, so he wasn’t a real child. And OK, he was remotely controlled to drive us crazy. But, weird as it probably sounds, we bonded with little Damien. Or, rather, we bonded — and fell in love with — the notion of a blessing we shall probably never enjoy. But hey; that’s another story, for another time.

In the meantime, let’s get down to business. Kids’ rooms; we have experience. And, over the years, we’ve created many, using colour as our starting point. Shade selection is clearly personal and, while we appreciate the market is predisposed to pink and blue, white is our top tip as it makes a great back drop against which to add drama via subsequent, flexible layering.

But white? Well, if you’re worried about wee fingers leaving crayon or foodstuff smudges, try this; add a decorative border at waist height and use matt emulsion above, and gloss below. Et voilà — offending marks will vanish courtesy of a damp cloth. Another trick is to designate one area as a blackboard; simply paint with specialist product, allow it to dry, then give the little ’uns chalk and let them get stuck in. And when it’s time to clean up? Simply rub off the masterpiece and start again.

How about underfoot? In our Glasgow “nursery” we used floor paint on untreated boards and provided interest by blocking out slabs of brighter colour to delineate play areas and walk zones. If choosing carpet, select product that’s washable and stain repellent. Bright shades date, so make statements with decorative elements or rugs. It might even make sense to consider carpet tiles; these allow for damaged areas to be replaced should problems arise. Just remember to buy a few extra tiles and store them away carefully.

Lighting, too, is important and should remain subdued. As well as visiting specialist outlets, raid the aisles of a big box store, which carry great ranges that work well in junior domains. The secret to making lighting work (in adult or juvenile contexts) is a simple dimmer; with the twist of a button, mood can be adjusted to suit circumstances. Night feeds, for example, are better given against ambient backlight so as not to wake baby too much.

We’re frequently asked about “future proof” furniture — beds in particular, can be problematic, but worry not; the clever chaps at Room To Grow have addressed this head on with a selection of cribs that extend and convert as your child makes the transition from baby to teenager.

In a nutshell, the secret to a successful project is a clean and comfortable backdrop, one that can be modified (without fuss or expense) as time and tastes fluctuate. Our watch word, therefore, is flexibility. Kids’ passions switch frequently and the last thing you want is to face a complete gut down six months after your child springboards from Batman to Spiderman, or from Barbie to My Little Pony.

Safety First — Our Guide

For the most part, adults assess risk and exist in such a way as to avoid incidents. Children, however, particularly young ones, need safety to be considered for them so they can get on with the serious business of having fun. This in mind, let’s have a look at health and safety:

 • Tiny fingers are easily trapped in door hinges, so install plastic safety mechanisms; these fit easily and can be found in DIY chains.

 • Ensure window cords and blind chains are tucked out of harm’s way. Each year, sadly, deaths occur when children become trapped in the workings of “innocent” window apparatus.

 • Avoid trailing electrical flexes and protect plugs with childproof fronts.

 • Fit windows with secure locks that allow for ventilation yet limit opening without supervision.

 • We never install open fires or gas fires in kids’ rooms. We don’t even need to explain why.

 • If you have exposed radiators, we’d counsel they’re kept on a separate thermostat to restrict heat. If this isn’t possible, position a decorative safety screen in front to protect delicate digits.

 • Rugs on hard floors should have anti-skid mats positioned below to protect against slipping.

 • Avoid low-level shelves. These might seem appropriate, but they can be hazardous upon collision with little heads.

Before and after

What? Hello? Is this the lair of a young Freddy Krueger, or the result of a misguided attempt at child-friendly decor? The red hand effect, we’re sure you’ll agree, was a nightmare and indeed the polar opposite of that which might energize a young mind. Remedy, fortunately, lay just around the corner, aided and abetted by some white latex and a roller.

Fabric inspiration

Our design inspiration stemmed from the fabric we chose for the blind and the cushions. To save money, we reused the existing bed but padded the wooden frame with foam and then reupholstered it with the same material. We colour matched the paint to the fabric, and then created the magic with masking tape and a great deal of patience. The results speak for themselves and cost little more than a litre of each colour. Ikea carry a range of jaunty textiles that are fun, colourful and well priced, so head over and get creative.

All white on the night

We went all-out white with milky emulsion on the walls and satin white on the timber floor. To properly paint lumber, first sand down the surface, remove loose nails and then fill problem holes and cracks. Next, vacuum, wash the floor with sugar soap solution and apply several light coats of paint using a medium sized roller; this practice avoids brush marks.

Roll out the rug

To soften proceedings, while adding a splash of colour at floor level, we opted for a huge tufted circular rug. Our specification is gentle underfoot and looks fabulous. Who says carpets should be rectangular? Karhani, our favourite Canadian rug supplier, carries a staggeringly good selection so hit them up for inspiration.

Stash in a dash

Don’t let your little ’uns become next generation clutterers. Choose trunk storage solutions and ottomans with concealed stash zones and lose old, broken toys to stop space becoming a dumping ground with no sense of order. Setting standards such as these from a young age will promote good habits later in life. Fact.

Colin McAllister and Justin Ryan are the hosts of HGTV’s Colin Justin’s Home Heist and the authors of Colin Justin’s Home Heist Style Guide, published by Penguin Group (Canada). Follow them on Twitter @colinjustin or on Facebook (ColinandJustin). Check out their new candle and room spray ranges at candjhome.co.uk. Contact them through their website colinandjustin.tv.

Resources

Blackboard paint: The Home Depot, www.homedepot.ca

Wall paints: Para Paints, www.parapaints.com

Floor paint: International Paints, www.international-paints.co.uk

Building supplies: Rona, www.rona.ca

Fabrics for blinds and cushions and bedside lamps.: Ikea, www.ikea.ca

Foam supplies to pad headboard: Foamite, www.foamite.com

For extendable flexible beds and cots: Rooms to Grow, www.roomstogrow.ca

For a great source of rugs: Korhani, www.korhani.com

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