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The Sexy, Sensual Experience Everyone Should Have At Least Once

June 15, 2016 by  
Filed under Choosing Lingerie

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As a sex coach and relationship consultant I firmly believe that everyone (singles, couples, women, men and everyone else on the gender binary spectrum), should consider doing a boudoir photo shoot.

I understand that for many people the idea of getting into lingerie, or sexy clothing, or not much clothing at all can feel incredibly scary — especially as we age and our bodies change. No, you can’t hold in your neck (I have tried). Most of us get undressed privately; not in a studio with people we may never have met before. It’s not comfortable; at least not the idea of it; or perhaps even for the first few moments of it. But I have seen the healing and transformative effects of boudoir photography first hand at my retreats for women — and in myself. I think that seeing yourself and being in front of a camera can completely change your perspective and your relationship with your body and your sexuality. It will free you from the stories you have about your body.

Ten Reasons Why You Should Get A Boudoir Photo Shoot

1. It Will Change How Your Feel About Yourself

Boudoir photography is like getting a self-esteem booster shot. First of all, this is all about you — and you will be showered with loving attention and presence. That alone can make all of us feel amazing. Boudoir Photography is not about losing 20 pounds, or plastic surgery or anything other than who you are now. And that in and of itself is amazing. You get to be celebrated simply as you are. And you are not alone if you feel a lack of body or sexual confidence. We all have parts of ourselves that we don’t exactly love from our bellies to our ass to the shape of our forehead. There is something about putting ourselves out there in such a complete way and then seeing ourselves reflected back through photography that can absolutely shift how we feel about ourselves. Suddenly seeing ourselves as beautiful or sexy or extraordinary becomes a possibility.

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Photo Credit; JonGunnar Gylfason

Most of my clients report back to me that they had an extraordinary feeling of aliveness during their photo shoot and the extra body fat or lack of it didn’t matter anymore. They felt beautiful in their bodies just as they were. Boudoir Photography teaches us to love ourselves just as we are. No plastic surgery needed. Self hatred takes a holiday. Strike a pose!

2. A Rocking Good Time!

Do you like to have fun? Play dress up? Get lost in your imagination? When was the last time you did that? When we play with costumes and photography we invite ourselves to be shape shifters and play in our erotic imagination. We create a ritual space for laughter and give ourselves a space for having a flare for the dramatic.

There can even be comedy and a bit of drama. My experience is that after the first few uncomfortable moments of getting started; most people can’t believe how fast the photo shoot went — and just want to play more with images, costumes and poses.

3. Shower Yourself With Healing Attention

Have you had any attention lately? A big part of boosting our self esteem and sexual self confidence is bringing ourselves into situations where the focus is ourselves. Taking the time to choose outfits can build anticipation and arousal. All the parts of a great boudoir shoot from choosing your costumes to make up to posing are great endorphin builders! Getting in front of the camera can be great for mental health! And it all starts with the anticipation of the shoot. You start showering yourself with loving attention as soon as you commit.

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Photo Credit: Neal Wecker

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Photo Credit; JonGunnar Gylfason

4. Kick Up Your Sex Life

Most people don’t have a clue that boudoir photography can be instrumental and a healing tool in waking up and rejuvenating your sex life. Boudoir photography allows you to view yourself in situations that you might never have explored before like playing in ropes, or wearing mask, or even climbing in and out of cages like a wild cat.

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Photo Credit; JonGunnar Gylfason

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Photo Credit; JonGunnar Gylfason

5. Bring Back The Romance

Couples in every state of development from engagement to marriage to dating may find that doing a couple’s boudoir shoot can be incredibly exciting. There is nothing like standing half naked with your beloved in front of a camera to kick things up a notch. You are able to play once again in your erotic imagination with each other and experiment with highly traditional and romantic poses and even explore some more naughty and intimate styles. For couples sharing those intimate moments on camera, it can be downright exciting. Something as simple as looking at each other in front of a camera or touching each others faces can really light up the room and your sex life. There is something magical about bringing the camera into the room that can bring out the tiger and the playful sexiness in all of us. These pictures could be just for the both of you or could be hung in your bedroom as a beautiful reminder of your heart and erotic connection.

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Photo Credit; JonGunnar Gylfason

6. Re-Discover Your Bad-Ass Self

There is great pleasure to be found in discovering what you can get away with. Taking it out in front of a camera in a safe space is a wonderful way of letting our badass self fly free and wild. Who says you aren’t a movie queen? My guess is that you aren’t a beginner at being you; you are just a beginner at really letting yourself see you. You have lands inside yourself that you haven’t discovered yet. And you won’t ever uncover it until you let yourself go there. Boudoir Photography is a great way to love the shit out of yourself. Got a tummy? Show it and love it. Screw the belly haters! Take a good look. Is it really so awful or maybe could it even be kinda sexy? There is a big difference in what we all think we look like; and what we really look like. Have the audacity to believe in your badass sexiness — right now.

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Photo Credit: Elizabeth.

7. Sexy Photos Are a Great Gift for Your Beloved

Giving the gift of yourself to your beloved is an extraordinary way of saying “I love you.” I don’t know anyone who would not like to receive beautiful photographs taken especially for them from their lover. Don’t wait for Valentine’s Day. Give them that playful come-get-me smile now. Sexy photographs are a delicious invitation to your lover.

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Photo Credit: Elizabeth

8. Feel Body and Sexuality Come Alive In Sexy Lingerie

One of the most fun and exciting things in boudoir photography has to be the costumes. You can be anything and be seen it it! You get to dress up as a Glamour Girl or Leather Boy or anything your creative mind conjures up. Boudoir photography allows us to get creative with our erotic imagination and give expression to that hidden erotic creature inside of us. Take your time shopping in lingerie stores, and enlisting the help of the staff. Visit “Fetish” stores. Shop online. Try stuff on and take pictures with your camera. Do you like what you see? Is this the you that wants to come out? How does it feel to wear high boots, or leather? How sexy can you feel?

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Photo Credit; JonGunnar Gylfason

9. An Opportunity to Get Really Body Positive

Most people spend a lot of time hating all the parts of their body. Can you allow your belly to show during the photo shoot? Maybe for one or two shots? Can you sit with the images and see your belly as curvy and sexy? Can you see parts of yourself that are less obviously beautiful that maybe you never noticed before? Look at the curve of your back, your hands, or how about your feet? Boudoir Photography can help you see parts of yourself as beautiful and interesting in a way that never occurred to you before. Watch your self esteem and body positive self grow with each image. You are more than your great hair or beautifully shaped mouth. Take the time to love all of you.

10. Do This For You

Calling all the single people! Is it time to get back in the dating game? Or just kick up the sexy inside of yourself? Once again boost the sexual self-confidence meter? Than get in front of the camera and turn on the hot beast inside of you. Get rid of the “I don’t feel sexy” and fill yourself up with “Who is the hottest ass in town?” You will love the pictures so much that you will want to date yourself and it will empower you to take the next step in your romantic life. I have seen it again and again.

Look, it is hard enough to be a human being these days in this culture of what is pretty. With Boudoir Photography you get the opportunity to create and see your own unique beauty. It’s healing. This is an opportunity for you to celebrate who you are in the skin that you are in now. You can do this, and you will not believe how much fun and healing will come from it. Really.

boudoir shoot
Photo Credit; JonGunnar Gylfason

Pamela Madsen runs retreats around the country to help women re-connect to their bodies and sensuous nature and is author of the book; “Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner” (Rodale 2011).

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

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Can Procter & Gamble Find Its Aim Again?

June 11, 2016 by  
Filed under Choosing Lingerie

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CEO succession is a complex, often messy endeavor. Just ask the board at Disney,


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which has struggled to identify a future replacement for CEO Bob Iger, or those duking it out with 93-year-old Sumner Redstone for control of Viacom (read more about that in our feature “Here’s What’s Really Going on Inside the Fractious Battle for Viacom“). That was not the case at PG back in 2009, when Lafley, who had presided over a decade of dramatic innovation and renewal, as well as the company-doubling $57 billion acquisition of Gillette in 2005, prepared to step down.

Talent management and succession planning was something that PG, the ultimate promote-from-within company, considered among its greatest competitive advantages. One of its biggest trade secrets wasn’t a clothes-cleaning technology or diaper formulation, but its Talent Portfolio, a blue binder that listed pertinent data on every candidate for the top 120 jobs—as well as their potential replacements several levels down. In 2009 I got a peek inside that binder as I reported extensively on the carefully calibrated process that elevated then-COO McDonald to succeed Lafley.

But as impressive as the method was, the result was a bust. In fairness, McDonald had the misfortune of taking over during the punishing global recession that followed the financial crisis. But he proved to be a divisive leader. And he set out so many goals that few could grasp the real priorities. He also lacked a strong chairman, a PG hallmark. Lafley served as chairman for just six months before resigning and leaving McDonald to his own devices.

Too many of the decisions during Lafley’s first tour as CEO—heralded at the time—turned out to have complicated after­effects. The company’s emphasis on premium products in North America, such as Olay’s higher-end skin creams, left it exposed when purchasing power dropped during the financial crisis. Lafley’s decision to consolidate more power in “global business units” left long-powerful brand and country managers struggling to apply local insights.

“Innovation” came to mean modest twists on existing items (think Pantene for curly hair, medium-thick hair, Heat Shield, and Ice Shine) rather than new ideas. Says Werner Geissler, PG’s former vice chairman: “RD people were working too much on cosmetic upgrades as opposed to game-resetting innovations. Head Shoulders with Apple? Seaweed?” (In case you’re wondering, PG did sell both versions.)

A.G. Lafley (right, in 2009) oversaw a smooth transition to Robert McDonald but then returned to replace his successor after McDonald struggled.Photograph by Greg Miller

And the seemingly logical move into developing markets—where the rising middle class meant billions in new consumer spending—proved more volatile than anticipated. It was this move that defined McDonald’s tenure: In 2011 he announced that PG would have 800 million new customers by 2015, primarily in China, Russia, and other newer markets. “The move of the center of gravity is critical,” he said at the time.

It never happened. Instead, PG posted a string of sales and earnings disappointments. The result: a falling stock and unhappy pensioners (whose retirement was paid in stock) who actively campaigned for McDonald’s removal. That occurred as activist investor Bill Ackman took a stake and publicly denounced McDonald’s leadership. A slow-moving political bureaucracy, it seemed, had lost its way.

On May 23, 2013, McDonald suddenly “retired” from PG. Back came Lafley, then nearly 66. Having remarried and moved to Florida to pursue triathlons and a part-time private equity gig, he found himself again at the company he had left so triumphantly. PG’s board believed he was the only person who could dig the company out of its hole. Apparently, PG’s blue binder didn’t have as much top talent as its heft had implied.

But A.G. 2.0 turned out to be more of a brand extension than a breakthrough innovation. This version of the CEO was older and less energetic, one who defined his job more narrowly than he had the first time around. Once an indefatigable traveler who evangelized about the customer’s “first and second moments of truth,” Lafley stayed behind the scenes this time, using his newfound private equity skills to figure out which brands and categories deserved focus and which should be jettisoned. He announced he would no longer speak on quarterly earnings calls, refused to interact with the press, and, despite the fact that China was one of the company’s biggest trouble spots, visited there only twice in his 2½ years at the helm. He wasn’t even willing to move back to Cincinnati. That meant a PG jet flew him back to Florida every weekend, at a cost of $512,000 in 2015 alone.

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Once driven by passion, Lafley now seemed motivated by obligation—as well as, perhaps, a desire to preserve his legacy. As he told an audience at UCLA’s Anderson School of Management in December when asked why he came back: “The short answer was duty and unfinished business.”

Lafley set about, in some cases, undoing actions he himself had taken years before. In 2014, PG announced it would sell what turned out to be 116 of its 166 brands—a housecleaning that included several acquisitions championed by Lafley himself, such as Wella, bought for $7 billion in 2003, and Clairol, for $5 billion in 2001. In 2015, Coty agreed to buy the two, along with 40-odd others, for $12.5 billion. Duracell, which came with the Gillette purchase in 2005, was sold to Warren Buffett this year. (The Oracle of Omaha traded his 52 million PG shares for the battery business, a seeming vote of no confidence in PG’s overall prospects.)

Lafley, and later Taylor, began recalibrating the company’s strategy in China. PG had entered early, in 1988. But it underestimated the growth of China’s upper class, focusing instead on the lower- to middle-class market. Its diapers, for example, proved vulnerable to higher-end offerings from Japanese competitors; PG’s market share has fallen nearly five percentage points since 2010, to 37%, according to Euromonitor Citi Research. Explained Taylor at a recent conference: “We looked at it too much like a developing market as opposed to the most discerning customers in the world.” PG is now trying to move upmarket in China.

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PG has also shifted more resources back to North America, where it has a more dominant share. And it has become leaner and less bureaucratic, in part through huge job cuts—35,000 by the end of 2016. PG has slashed product categories from 15 to 10 to improve focus. Says Jon Moeller, its longtime CFO: “The businesses we are keeping are those where we have a product technology that makes a consumer difference—and, almost to a one, daily use items.”

When asked about reversing his own much-lauded strategy, Lafley was unapologetic: Different times require different measures. As he told the audience at the Anderson School (Lafley declined to be interviewed for this article): “I had two incredibly interesting opportunities, and they were 180 degrees different. In 2000 the job was to grow. It was an extension and expansion strategy. When I came back,” he said, “I looked at a company that was overextended and overexpanded … It was a totally different situation.” Left unsaid was the question of whether one strategy might have had anything to do with the other.

After just over two years, Lafley concluded he was done, again. He hadn’t revived top-line growth, but he had made tough decisions and, he felt, refocused the company. Lafley announced he would move to executive chairman in November 2015—to be replaced as CEO by Taylor, then the group president for global beauty, grooming, and health care. The board conducted a search but ended up choosing—again—a lifer carefully groomed by Lafley. (In another Groundhog Day moment, Lafley announced on June 1 that he will resign as chairman again on July 1. This time he stayed eight months rather than six.)

Internally, there was a collective sigh of relief. Taylor, many thought, could provide both stability and a higher level of engagement than the company had experienced of late. Taylor is known as a good guy—the type who trusts his lieutenants, inspires people, and bleeds PG blue and white.

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He began as a plant engineer. But 12 years in, he decided he wanted to work with the brands and started over again from the bottom as an assistant brand manager for Pampers—an unusual move and one that required humility. Says Gary Martin, PG’s former head of family care, who ran product supply when Taylor was a plant manager: “He was always a star. I managed 65,000 people, and every time we rated the most promising people, he was always No. 1.”

Taylor is white, North Carolinian, basketball-loving, churchgoing—straight out of central casting for the PG executive suite, if not exactly an improvement on the diversity front. He has worked in beauty, grooming, and fabric care on multiple continents, but spent most of his time in the baby-care business. An operations guy rather than a marketer, Taylor won kudos for successfully expanding the paper business into Europe and, later, advocating the sale of the pet-care business.

Unlike some predecessors, Taylor is said to make people feel comfortable. But is feeling comfortable what PG needs right now? “I find [Taylor] to be absolutely lovely,” says veteran Citigroup


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analyst Wendy Nicholson. “But when you talk to him he talks a lot about the high level: ‘We care about the consumer and culture.’ You wonder if that makes folks feel better, but maybe it’s not the right approach.”

Taylor says he understands such criticism, but responds, “I’m in a great position because I understand that culture.” There have, of course, been secret rebels who entered as seemingly rote company men only to smash the china. Intel’s


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Andy Grove was the clear exemplar, and GM’s


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Mary Barra and Microsoft’s


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Satya Nardella are attempting similar transformations. But so far, it’s hard to imagine that this earnest red-haired guy with 36 years at the company is a secret revolutionary in a plaid jacket.

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