Idea that men are intimidated by sex toys is a myth – it’s WOMEN who are …
November 13, 2011 by admin
Filed under Choosing Lingerie
By
Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 5:08 PM on 4th November 2011
They never get tired and are always conveniently to hand. So it is little surprise that many women are convinced their partners are threatened by sex toys.
But the belief is a myth, according to new research, which has found that the idea is mostly held by women, not their boyfriends or husbands.
A study of over 3,000 people in the U.S. by Indiana University revealed that 70 per cent of men actually have no problem with women using vibrators.
The sex toy myth: A study has found that 70 per cent of men have no problem with their girlfriends using vibrators – women just think they are threatened
Participants, who were aged 18-60, either agreed or strongly agreed with statements put to them by researchers, such as, ‘[vibrators] make it easier for a woman to have an orgasm’, and ‘[vibrators are] a healthy part of many women’s sex lives.’
In contrast, nearly four in ten women said they believed use of sex toys would upset their boyfriend or husband.
Men and women were given the same questions and nearly half of the total respondents were strongly in favour of the positive statements.
In fact less than ten per cent felt the
same way about negative statements, such as, ‘[using vibrators] makes
women too dependent on them for pleasure’, with the remaining percentage issuing indifferent responses.
Debra Herbenick, lead researcher and associate director at Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion says her findings demonstrate how important it is for couples to share sexual interests with their partners.
She told LiveScience: ‘This builds on a lot of previous research that has shown that feeling like you can be intimate with your partner – that you can share things with them about your sexual desires and interests – is very important to a couple’s sexual life and a woman’s sexual satisfaction.
‘It’s not just the vibrator use but being able to share
those parts of your sexuality with your partner that matters.’
Sex toys are now a $500million industry in the U.S. according to Scientific American.
Indeed, a 2009 study by Ms Herbenick, found that half of all Americans use vibrators, and 45 per cent of men admitted to owning one to please their girlfriend or wife.
It is perhaps thanks to the fact that sex toys have a larger presence in mainstream media than ever.
The ‘Rabbit’ vibrator became a retail phenomenon when it featured on Sex And The City, a series widely credited with helping women become more sexually confident.
Desperate Housewives’ Gabrielle Solis, played by Eva Longoria, also used one in an early episode.
And last year Rihanna reportedly spent $1,500 in a Paris sex shop
Further evidence of their mainstream status is evident in the upcoming release of the film Hysteria, starring Maggie Gyllenhaal, which is based on early medical usage of vibrators to treat women.
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@the Lady….., who resides in Britain: “when men can ‘step upto the mark’ relise sex lasts longer than the 3 minutes (less most times) they’ve just put into it – then women MIGHT not have a need for sex toys!”….perhaps they want to get away from you as quickly as possible? Do you have issues with your personal hygiene perhaps? Just trying to help here, as no woman should miss out on good sex. Maybe I’ve just been a lucky woman!
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I don’t understand the women on here saying that men are intimidated by a sex toy that can replace them. By that token, women should be intimidated by a microwave oven and a washing machine.
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“3 mins is just fine for me, but then I’m a man and why would I be ashamed of the fact that I am able to achieve my own orgasm? Female sexual dysfunction is becoming a big problem in society but you ladies need to sort your own problems out for yourselves!”
- Goughie, London, 5/11/2011 18:15Actually 3 minutes is fine for us ladies too – but only with a piece of plastic.
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- Owen, Newcastle, 05/11/2011 20:38 Your response to ‘The Truth’s point only served to reinforce it….
.
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Most women cannot achieve an orgasm within just a couple of minutes which is how long sex with men lasts due to MALE SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION. In conclusion, men and their sheer selfishness are the problem. I’d rather pleasure myself than have a quick fumble with a man who will not be able to satisfy me, thanks. – The Truth, London, UK” ============ Sexual dysfunction? In nature, the premature ejaculator was the one who was most successful. Taking too long meant that the male and female were left in a vulnerable position much longer than neede be, and they were attacked more often before completion. Having said that, you talk as if ALL men suffer from premature ejaculation which is so untrue. I know a woman who used to complain of “aching ovaries” as her husband used to be at it for “hours on end”.
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@- Minnie the Minx, UK, 05/11/2011 20:50 —— and perhaps you should stick to fumbling.
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From Tupperware to toys
November 13, 2011 by admin
Filed under Choosing Lingerie
MATTHEW PETRILLO TTN FILE PHOTO On Monday, Oct. 10, FMLA hosted a sex-toy party and informational session for women.
The Temple News examines the growing trend of sex-toy parties.
In the 1950s, the Tupperware company created its now-famous “party plan” to sell its wares. Parties were run by female consultants for the host, who was responsible for inviting friends to come learn about, and buy, new products. Hosts were rewarded with discounts and free merchandise.
In the post-World War II America, women were hungry for ways to maintain the independence they had gained from entering the workforce in the 1940s. Selling Tupperware became an outlet for empowering women to earn an income while preserving their roles as domestic leaders. The product itself also empowered women by freeing them from the responsibility of cooking three meals every day and afforded them with mobility away from the household.
Fast-forward to the 1970s, when women were still basking in the glow of their sexual revolution. The first sex-toy parties began to appear during this era, using the same formula of direct marketing, as Tupperware used with its parties. Sex-toy parties increased in popularity during the years, which has been suggested to reflect the increase in self actualization of the modern woman.
Today, sex-toy parties are run more or less the same as they were at its inception, although sometimes with a more high-tech product line. A woman decides she wants to host one of these no-boys-allowed parties—known as slumber parties—and contacts the company to send out a consultant, free of charge.
Consultants set up their wares and distribute a “wish list” of products to each guest, who are encouraged to write down their interests and curiosities throughout the presentation. The consultant begins with the less risqué items, such as body lotions, books and novelties. After a break for eating, drinking, cigarettes and socializing, the group comes back together for the more heavy duty equipment. More serious items include dildos, vibrators and specialty items. After all the products have been shown, each guest goes into a private room with the consultant to ask any personal questions and to place orders.
Prices range from $20 to $150 for a toy. Products are safe and high quality, and more expensive items typically come with replacement warranties. Many toys sold in novelty shops contain a harmful plastic, which these specialty companies avoid working with. These plastics can hinder fertility when introduced to the reproductive region.
Explanations and demonstrations of products are interspersed with games in which guests can win small prizes.
Consultants are often asked for advice on sexual health, and many incorporate historical and health-related information into their presentations. Due to the nature of the job, many representatives have backgrounds working in health, sexuality, education or sex education. Regardless of professional background, most share a common focus on female empowerment.
“The consultant is there to make money, but the majority of women who do it have the whole ‘know your body’ mentality,” said junior risk management major Rachel C., who spoke on the condition of partial anonymity due to her involvement in organizations on Main Campus. Rachel hosted her second sex-toy party this past weekend.
Rachel said she has been to three sex-toy parties in the past four years and said she loved the experience so much that she wanted to share it with her friends.
“I think most people worry that they’re inexperienced and [are] gonna look like an idiot. People have a notion that it’s going to be uncomfortable, but a good consultant makes it so there isn’t time to be uncomfortable because you’re laughing,” she said.
The Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance recently hosted a sex-toy party in the Student Center on Monday, Oct. 10. They also hosted a “history of the vibrator” lecture on Main Campus.
“People were really nervous, but because [the consultant was] such a professional she handled it well,” senior Alyssa Treff, FMLA secretary and English literature and composition major, said. “There was a lot of laughter and excitement. Almost everything was available to pass around which fostered camaraderie.”
The camaraderie between partygoers plays an important role in the attractiveness of these events.
“I used to be the only one of my friends with a vibrator, and now all eight of them do,” Rachel said. “Making it such a fun event removes the stigma of it being something bad.”
“This is what your girlfriends are for,” Rachel added, emphasizing the importance of being able to be open about masturbation and sex with friends.
Treff agreed, and said that one of the best things about hosting an event like the sex-toy party for her organization is that it brings attention to the fact that a group exists on Main Campus that is trying to make the subject OK to talk about.
The university is supportive of FMLA’s efforts and has approved the sex-toy event for several years.
“[In the past, women] were used for a purpose, but now it’s not all about the man and what you’re going to give to him. It’s removing the double standard. We’re not fragile playthings,” Rachel said.
With the current popularity of sex toy parties, it is evident that women are truly taking control of their own sexuality and are now more prepared than ever to open up a dialogue about pleasure with their partners.
Treff said that pre-existing ideas about sex are fixable, and being self-aware, as the sex toy party encourages, enables women to get the most out of their sexual experiences.
“We’re finally ready to take control of our sexuality,” Treff said. “It’s very empowering.”
“Even beyond being empowering, it’s fun,” Rachel said.
“[College can be] all about jobs and what other million organizations you’re involved in. You never have five minutes to just chill,” she added. “It’s five hours where you have nothing to worry about but laughing, having a good time with your friends, learning and being able to leave with lots of fun things.”
Victoria Marchiony can be reached at victoria.marchiony@temple.edu.