Tamika D. Mallory: Get Out of People’s Bedrooms, Please

When I was 16 years old, I wanted to be a computer graphics designer. Day and night, that’s all I literally dreamed about. Fast-forward a year or two and then came the preoccupation with boys. Not straight-laced serious boys, but bad boys. A few years after that, I was on to the next thing. Computer Graphics became a dream of the past. I changed my mind about my life a dozen times before choosing to dedicate my life to civil rights activism. And by the way, I eventually grew out of the “bad boy” mentality. Today, I’m dating one of them most successful businessmen in the country. The point is, “ish” changes.

Over 30 years ago, Chirlane McCray, wife of NYC Public Advocate Bill de Blasio, wrote a cover story for Essence Magazine where she said she was a lesbian. She’s now married to one of the most respected public advocates NYC has ever had and is mother to their two children. News flash: “ish” changes.

But why do we even care what goes on in people’s bedrooms?

Throughout this summer and in the weeks leading up to the presidential election, I often wrote and spoke about the continuing war on women. Whether it was contraception, our roles in society or our sexuality, women were under assault time and again. Didn’t those who were constantly throwing females under the bus learn anything from the election? Why do people feel the need to discuss what Chirlane’s sexual preferences are or what kind of marriage she and de Blasio have? For crying out loud, it’s almost 2013!

When Chirlane wrote her Essence story in ’79, it was a bold and daring move, to say the least. At a time when women were still heavily fighting for equality, she went there when many were afraid. For people to attack her or question her marriage now is nothing more than a cheap shot. In a column in the New York Post, writer Andrea Peyser said, “Lesbians don’t simply get cured, as if homosexuality were a temporary disease. Someone (de Blasio? McCray? Both?) isn’t being honest.” And cartoonist Sean Delonas (who previously depicted President Obama as a chimp), drew de Blasio in lingerie next to Chirlane in bed who was on the phone saying “I was a lesbian, but my husband, Bill de Blasio, won me over.” The Post and its contributors should be ashamed. By the way, Ms. Peyser now claims her words were misrepresented. Well Ms. Peyser, why the heck did you write about it in the first place?

What I am saying is that people’s personal lives should not be on the table unless they are sleeping with children or violating others. As long as their spouse or partner is cool with whatever it is, mind your damn business. Instead of criticizing a person’s track record or views on issues, some will stoop so low as to attack their spouses and try to disparage their character in the most disrespectful way. Who cares what a person’s sexuality is or who they are sleeping with, as long as they get the job done that they were elected to do.

The Supreme Court is set to hear two major cases on same-sex marriage in the near future. When bisexuality is so commonplace, as are gay/lesbian relationships, our laws still need to catch up. And so do the minds of some writers, cartoonists and publishers. Everybody needs to relax and get over it. Criticize people on the merits, not on what may or may not be going down in their bedrooms. GET A LIFE!!!! “Ish” changes!

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Evelyn Lozada Bares All For New PETA Ad: ‘Cross Cruelty Off Your Shopping …

In the winter campaign, reality star Lozada is lying on “snow” with snowflakes on her body. The ad says, “Animals killed for their fur are electrocuted, drowned, beatern, and often skinned alive. Cross cruelty off your shopping list—go fur-free.”

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I am an animal lover. I was definitely one of those people that wore fur years ago.

 

“I was looking online and seeing how these animals are tortured and skinned, and you don’t really realize the hurt and the pain that they go through just for fashion, and I want to be a voice for them,” Lozada said at the campaign launch in Los Angeles.

 

Last month, television personality Wendy Williams took her clothes off in support of PETA, also with the message that going naked is better than wearing fur.

Williams unveiled her winter campaign for the animal rights organization at Times Square in New York.

“We should all try to be comfortable in our own skin and let animals keep theirs,” Williams told PETA.

On the organization’s official site, it states that Williams is also encouraging “people who have fur coats to donate them to PETA so that they can be given to the homeless. PETA is working with shelters in Wendy’s home state of New Jersey on coat drives this winter — something that is in great demand as the numbers of needy and displaced people have increased following Hurricane Sandy.”

In the ad, her long hair is the only thing covering her chest as she lies down. In another ad, she is standing, and a tattoo she has across her lower stomach area is clearly visible.

In October, “Real Housewives of Miami” star Joanna Krupa bared it all for a PETA ad.

“There is nothing sexy about wearing something that is so obviously tied to senseless pain and killing,” Krupa told PETA.

While PETA has good intentions, the animal rights group is no stranger to controversy. Earlier this year, PETA launched an adult site, which includes an ad featuring former porn star Jenna Jameson dressed in lingerie with the caption, “Pleather yourself.”

“We’re hoping to reach a whole new audience of people, some of whom will be shocked by graphic images that maybe they didn’t anticipate seeing when they went to the PETA triple-X site,” Lindsay Rajt, PETA’s associate director of campaigns told Reuters.

But Jennifer Pozner, executive director of the New York-based advocacy group Women In Media News, criticized PETA, calling the nonprofit organization “extremely disingenuous.” 

“They have consistently used active sexism as their marketing strategy to garner attention. Their use of sexism has gotten more extreme and more degrading,” she went on to say.

Alicia Silverstone, Maggie Q, Pamela Anderson and Angela Simmons are among other notable names who have participated in ad campaigns for PETA.

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