Zac Bertschy

Rating: 1.5

Ash Blake is a brash young superstar at Dragonar Academy, a magic school for magic kids who bear a special kinship with dragons. He’s a Senios now (it sounds like ‘Senior’ but he has 3 years left) and he has special markings that link him to his “parr”, a dragon he can summon. The problem: Ash’s parr hasn’t erupted from wherever dragons erupt from yet so he winds up riding other people’s dragons, kinda like the guy who can’t afford his own ride and keeps asking to borrow your car so he can go on a beer run, man.

Ruling the school (at least from the student side) is Princess Silvia, a tightly-wound aristocrat who wants to take hotshot Ash down a peg. She winds up challenging him to defeat her in an upcoming dragon race thing that everyone participates in, but he doesn’t stand much of a chance, and winds up taking a breather halfway through wherein he’s confronted by a mysterious dude with dumb hair and also a dumb Char Aznable mask who sees the “unborn dragon” inside him. He has a loli sidekick wearing dime store lingere who tosses Ash off a cliff, which is where the series would’ve mercifully ended had doing so not awakened Ash’s parr, which turns out to be a naked pink-haired girl (DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING) with that awful shiny red elbows ‘n tits thing going on that someone in Japan is convinced everyone finds really sexy.

So Dragonar Academy is a lame Chosen One in Magic Boobs School show based on what I’ve heard is a particularly lame Chosen One in Magic Boobs School manga, and it isn’t really worth anyone’s time. This is the sort of Magic Boobs School where the uniforms are all designed with giant boob windows so everyone’s oversized racks can bounce around in tight pinstripe tops and a busty student council president offers up a date with herself as the prize for winning the dragon race. Everything about this is mediocre and uninteresting, not the least of which is the art design. Here you have a show about kids summoning dragons and rather than do any kind of even remotely imaginative creature design, you copy-paste the generic beefy anime dragon that pops up in every little kids’ card-battling show a dozen times and apply different color filters to it to differentiate between them. The animation is serviceable, I guess, but there isn’t a single ounce of imagination here. The show takes itself deadly serious, the lead character’s personality is as interesting as a bag of concrete mix and the rest of the show is just about inconsistently-drawn huge anime tits bobbing around. You can do better than this.

Dragonar Academy is available streaming at Funimation.com.

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Berlin opens world’s first lesbian-only cemetery

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On Sunday, Germany is unveiling a lesbian-only plot in the Lutheran Georgen Parochial Cemetery, which was built in 1814. The plot will include room for the burial of up to 80 women.

The Safia Association, a women’s group whose members are primarily elderly lesbians, is the impetus behind the movement. Usah Zachau, a spokeswoman for the group, told the Associated Press that the plot would serve as a place “where life and death connect, distinctive forms of cemetery culture can develop and where the lesbian community can live together in the afterlife.” The cemetery gave Safia use of the plot for up to 30 years in return for upkeep and landscaping.

“We are the first real generation of emancipated, feminist, open lesbians, and we need somewhere to be buried,” Dr. Astrid Osterland, a member of Safia, told German newspaper The Local. “Like everyone else, I want to lie with the people I’ve fought with,” she added.

Dr. Osterland also noted that, technically, there is nothing preventing men or heterosexual women from choosing plots in the lesbian section.

- - Meghan DeMaria

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1. This is George W. Bush’s painting of Vladimir Putin

2. Yes, older dudes are going on spring break to pick up college girls

3. ATM accidentally dispenses $40,000 to homeless man

4. Paula Deen shuts down Uncle Bubba’s restaurant without telling employees

5. Watch The Daily Show rip apart the Supreme Court’s money-equals-speech logic

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