My mom says that I set too high of standards for myself as a 7-year-old, and I still haven’t learned to stop doing that. I always wanted to do my best and be the best and be perfect in all the ways. This pressure was 100 percent self-inflicted.

Strong Woman Project: When do you feel the most comfortable?

Sarajane: I realized today while I was out dressed in sweats with no makeup on that I felt the most confident that I feel. I exist as that little red-headed girl running around in her bare feet with her brothers. That’s me. I like to dress up for myself, but that’s not who I want people to meet.

Strong Woman Project: How has your confidence developed?

Sarajane: One thing that changed internally was I started taking it all less seriously. I finally admitted to myself, “My external isn’t all of me. It can be celebrated regardless of what it looks like.” I would never look at another woman and pick out her flaws. I would look at her and pick out the things that are amazing about her.

I had to learn to see myself as if someone else were looking. We adopt confidence from each other: The way that I speak of myself in front of you will affect the way you view yourself tomorrow.

I get asked every day, “How are you so confident?” I know they’re asking because of my body but it doesn’t offend me. The questions are in good spirit. Everyone wants to find confidence.

Most women look in the mirror and look for what their body could be. I was definitely there at one point. I look in the mirror and see my body as a vessel for living my life. When people see me there’s a draw because I’m confident. I love that and I want confidence for all women. The more people see women with my body type being sexy and comfortable the less shocking it will be.

Strong Woman Project: Do you see yourself as a strong woman?

Sarajane: I feel physically strong. I like the feeling of accomplishing things with my body and pushing myself a little further than I thought I could physically handle. That’s a very fun and exciting thing for me.

I feel strong in the way that I view the world and people. I feel confident in those areas. I feel at my strongest when I can have a hard conversation with someone about where they are in life or how they feel. When I’m helping other people with their internal struggle and their self-perception I feel wise.

Strong Woman Project: What is your approach to shooting boudoir photography?

Sarajane: I picked up on all of this very naturally. I didn’t want to create someone else’s work. I have to call it boudoir to be web searchable but I’m not shooting boudoir in the typical sense of the word. I try to make it look like it’s your best day. I want to use what we can naturally to make you look your best. I love when other people see the photos and say, “I feel like I know her.”

I try to keep it light and silly, and it’s all very active. There’s no pressure to be sexy; I can make you look sexy without talking about sex.

I could open a studio and shoot every woman in the same space with hair, makeup and full-on lingerie, but I would feel like I was conveyer-belting women through. They would feel confident, but in the fact that on that day they looked beautiful, not in the fact that every day them as a person and them as a whole is a beautiful creation that exists. Which taps into what I want to do and my goal.

Strong Woman Project: How do you feel about Photoshop?

Sarajane: It’s not my favorite. I have a lot of people encourage me to look at photographers who I think use a lot of Photoshop and I would consider are digital artists. That’s not my skill or one that I want to develop.

I have made the mistake in the years past of altering women’s bodies with Photoshop and it’s something that I regret. It’s opposite of the message I want to send and at that point I didn’t have a clear vision of what I was shooting or why I was shooting it. Now I have a clear voice and a clear reason for doing what I do that isn’t in line with those values.

Strong Woman Project: How do you manage to be so forthcoming on your blog?

Sara Jane: I was blogging five days a week and then I realized no one could digest five days of deep thinking or sharing. I decided to just blog when I have something to say. I realized I needed to be more authentic with my blog, being real is the key to life.

I love being real and genuine. I lost followers for a minute because they wanted the shiny Sarajane. I was OK with that because I gained the people who wanted what I was giving and were also giving it back to me. It created this dynamic that was genuine and a lot more beautiful than what I was doing before which was all made up.

Showing people my life has become very important to me, and we’re all seeing each other as more beautiful people.

I get stopped while I’m out by people who recognize me from the blog or from Instagram. They want to talk to me about their lives and their souls and about childhood and self worth. They want to share really intimate pieces of information and I feel equipped to help them.

Showing tenderness to people in general — I’m here for them, I’m open and I will receive them. They can show me everything and there won’t be judgment. I will receive them with openness, kindness and love.

I could look at each one of you and pick out characteristics that I would want to possess but at the end of the day I don’t need them and they’re not mine. I should do whatever I can to support your skills and allow you to shine. Then eventually all of us will be shining just enough to illuminate it all.

Sarah Whitmeyer is a professional photographer who owns and operates her own business, Whitmeyer Photography. She has been shooting weddings in Asheville since 2006. Emily C. Decker is a writer and illustrator from Pennsylvania. Check out Emily’s art under the alias EmDe at ZaPow Illustration gallery in downtown Asheville.

About this series

Each month, a local photographer hosts the Living Portrait Series, choosing a theme and different subjects to photograph and interview each week.

The goal is two-fold: to share and champion work by local photographers and to foster a greater understanding of the people and perspectives in the community.

View past Living Portraits at CITIZEN-TIMES.com/photography. To learn more or ask questions, contact Erin Brethauer at ebrethau@citizen-times.com.

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