How to buy lingerie for your Valentine
February 18, 2015 by admin
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Don’t ruin Valentine’s Day with an ill-judged lingerie purchase. Photo: Tamara Dean
In terms of risk/reward it really is in a category of its own. You know what I’m getting at, don’t you? You got it – buying lingerie for your beloved on Valentine’s Day.
Get it right and reap the adoration. Miscue and the most romantic day of the year could take a very frosty turn.
Valentine’s Day gift ideas 2015
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The trick to saving yourself a night in the dog house is to do a little homework. But where to start?
Size does matter
Don’t get too far ahead of yourself – more complex decisions will come later, but first you need to make sure of one thing: that you know her size.
When in doubt, ask for help with choosing lingerie. Photo: iStock
If in doubt, a quick rummage through her top draw will help solve it. Sure, this might feel a tad illicit, but if you’re going to buy some intimate apparel for your partner, you want to make sure you’ve got this right.
Otherwise, do yourself and your partner a favour and find help.
When in doubt – ask
“We’re really well rehearsed with looking after gentlemen. We have our own techniques in store for guessing partner’s sizes without referring to a fruit bowl,” says Despina Michael of luxury lingerie retailer, im Lingerie, which has stores in Sydney, Melbourne and the Gold Coast.
Just a quick piece of advice: if you do end up hazarding a size guess, Michael soundly recommends going smaller rather than larger, for obvious reasons.
But getting the size right really only represents a pass mark, especially on Valentine’s Day.
No, on this day you really want to impress in your present giving. Upon unveiling, lukewarm smiles and sympathetic hugs must be out of the question. If you’re the kind of man who is known to simply grab whatever’s closest, make sure you also grab a second opinion.
New age guys
Michael says that men who visit im’s boutiques are increasingly knowledgeable, purposeful and less likely to choose something purely for their own tastes.
“I think there has been a change in buying patterns with our male clients. They’re more educated and more discerning, so they’re coming in and they know what they’re looking for … their tastes are more in tune with global trends and international luxury brands,” she says.
And when it comes to buying the best, Michael asserts it has to be Leavers lace, which is still made on 19th century Leavers looms in the French city of Calais.
“The laces are three-dimensional, very intricate, luxurious, very beautiful and you really can’t compare them to other laces,” she says.
Brand power
“The majority of our brands are imported from France and Italy. The average price point for a set is around $350, ranging through to $900. So we’re positioned at the higher, luxury end of the market. The quality is unsurpassed.”
Michael says if you really want to buy something exquisite, brands to look out for are La Perla, Lise Charmel, Parah, Christies, and Aubade – a French label that has has been around since 1875.
“There’s a lot of experience, not only in the history of these brands, but obviously in their techniques, construction and fit.”
If you’re keen on making your Valentine feel even more luxurious, Michael suggests considering lingerie pieces adorned with Swarovski crystals.
So whether you go classic, conservative or cheeky, make sure you do your homework. And if you get it horribly wrong, don’t say we didn’t warn you.
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Psychologist explains the research behind flagging libidos
February 17, 2015 by admin
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A UBC researcher explains why some lacy new lingerie might just do the trick
Is your relationship going stale? UBC psychology researcher Heather Morton explains the research behind flagging libidos, and offers tips on reigniting the flames of passion.
Why did you want to study partner novelty?
If you Google “How to enhance sexual desire” or “How to spice up your relationship,” you will find a large number of pop psychology and self-help sites will suggest the idea of novelty. Even couples counsellors will recommend these kinds of strategies: “Take salsa dancing” or “Buy new lingerie.” However, there is a lack of research examining the efficacy of this strategy.
Many non-human animal studies suggest that novelty may plan an important role in sexual functioning. This has been frequently demonstrated by the Coolidge effect, where a male will copulate with a female repetitively until he’s satiated and is no longer interested in continuing. But when a new female is introduced, he’s interested again. Although you clearly can’t do this with humans, there are some areas of research that have examined this phenomenon indirectly.
What have you found?
In our recent review of the literature, we found evidence that suggests men and women’s sexual desire declines over time with familiar partners and returns with novel partners. For instance, research on long-term relationships has shown that sexual frequency, sexual satisfaction, and sexual desire decline over time with the same partner. Remarriage has been shown to result in an increase in sexual frequency, therefore this effect cannot simply be attributed to age.
Laboratory studies examining habituation to erotica also support this idea. If you show someone the same erotic clip over and over again, his or her level of arousal decreases. When you show someone a new clip, his or her arousal is renewed. It appears that the Coolidge effect does occur, to some extent, in both men and women.
Is this depressing news for long-term couples?
It may sound depressing, but it can also be empowering. Men and women are choosing, for the most part, to enter monogamous relationships. There are a lot of benefits to these unions with regards to physical and mental health as well as monetary benefits.
I think it’s also helpful to know the potential downsides associated with these relationships, so you can create strategies to overcome them. What we’re now in the process of studying is whether couples can reverse the effect of declining desire by increasing novelty within their relationship, such as engaging in a greater variety of leisure activities together or in a wider sexual repertoire.
It can also be helpful to understand that this is natural—that there’s not something wrong with you or your partner. My hope is that we can use this information to benefit long-term relationships. Maybe you can have an affair within your own relationship.
Do you have any tips for couples on Valentine’s Day?
Talk with your partner about exciting activities you may want to try together this Valentines, and new sexual experiences you’d like to have together.
Couples may be able to gain the benefits in sexual functioning that accompany a new partner by introducing novelty in other ways. Previous studies have shown that engaging in exciting activities together increases relationship satisfaction, however the impact on sexual functioning was not examined.
Early results from one of our studies suggest that men and women who engage in a greater variety of sexual activities experience greater sexual desire and satisfaction. It appears as though the frequently given advice on “spicing up your relationship” may in fact be spot on.
Explore further:
There’s no faking it—your sexual partner knows if you’re really satisfied