Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

My youngest brother recently announced his engagement, and asked if I had any advice for him, since my husband and I recently celebrated our double-digits anniversary.

I thought for a moment and said, “Yes. Keep dating.”

There was a pause over the phone, and then he said, “Really? Are you sure? I thought that was one of those things, you know, that you give up when you get married . . . ?”

I hung my head and sighed. Patience, I thought. He’s a newbie.

“Not other people, you idiot,” I said gently. “Keep dating each other. Have a date night, like every Friday, and go out together.”

“Date my wife, huh?,” he said. “Okay. Right. Uh-huh. Do I have to, like, have her home by ten? Hahaha . . . date my wife . . . good one!” He hung up chuckling.

I knew he didn’t understand, and I knew that he wouldn’t, truly, until he’d been married for awhile and maybe had a child or two. He simply wasn’t at that point where romance and passion maybe don’t come as easily as they once did. And I also know that even when we’re at that point, understanding the concept isn’t necessarily enough, either.

For example, I crawled into bed the other night at ten o’clock. The kids were asleep, finally, after the requisite stories and arguments over teeth-brushing. The dog was in his crate. The laundry was folded and lunches made for the next morning. I was wearing my favorite old faded nightgown, and my pillow never felt so good. My eyelids started to flutter the second I lay down.

Then I felt a nudge.

I opened one eye and focused it on my husband, who was smiling and giving me his best come-hither look. I smiled back at this man I love and said the first thing that came to mind.

“You’re kidding me, right?”

I just wasn’t in the mood — for that, anyway. I was, however, in the mood for a little chat, because I spent the next fifteen minutes listing the various reasons I was not in the other mood. They ranged from the cat puking on my shoe to the dog eating my fundraiser order to my husband’s barbaric need to get up before dawn.

“Honey,” he asked, exasperated, “what can I do? Rub your back? Foot massage? What? What do you need?”

I thought about it, and finally said, “Empty the dishwasher. Make the coffee for the next morning. Have the kids in bed when I get home from teaching my night class. Take charge of deciding what’s for dinner sometimes. Walk the dog without being asked. This kind of thing,” I wrapped up, “is what turns me on.”

“Roger that,” he replied. “Um . . . tonight’s probably a no-go then, huh?”

To answer his question, I turned over and went to sleep.

It’s the truth. Traditional romance can get watered down once there are kids in the picture; who doesn’t imagine the horror of a child walking in while mom and dad are in flagrante delicto? With light-sleeping children, the vision of years of potential therapy bills surrounds us every time my husband and I try to remember how we made them in the first place.

Passion has to be worked on to be sustained. When the busyness of life takes over, it’s easy to take the relationship for granted, to let the can’t-wait-to-see-you-again feelings fade. Throw menopause into the mix, with the hot flashes and night sweats, and the mere idea goes the way of skinny jeans . . . with about as much relief.

Even I would have thought it amusing ten years ago, the possibility that housework could someday be foreplay. So even though he thinks it’s funny right now, I need to thank my brother for reminding me about a part of marriage that’s easy to forget. I need to thank him for making me think about my marriage at all.

And I need to tell a certain fella that I’m free for dinner Friday night.

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Fashion Awards MD, an awards celebration for fashion

 LA has the Grammys. NY has the Emmys. And now MARYLAND will have a FASHION AWARDS MD 

It is with pure enjoyment to my soul to write this article.  As most of you know, I love the world of fashion and everything about it.  But, when I heard about this upcoming event I was too too excited.  

Believe me, it has nothing to do with the fact that the Executive Producer, Lana Rae, is a good colleague, mentor, and friend.  It also, has nothing to do with the fact that Lana Rae is the CEO and Founder of KIS Agency, one of the most respected agencies in Maryland.  It also, has nothing to do with the fact that I respect and admire ALL of her productions.  Oh, it surely, has nothing to do at all, with the fact of how much I love fashion, just as much as I love my sons . . . OR DID IT!!! *side eye wink – Austin Powers voice*

On Saturday, June 9, 2012, the Kay Theatre, located inside the Clarice Smith Performing Arts Center, at the beautiful campus of University of Maryland, College Park will be the host venue for the Fashion Awards MD.  This theatre will be encapsulated with thousands of fashion lovers from all categories within the word, and world of fashion.  Not only did Lana come up with this concept, but there will be not one but two separate shows that evening.  One show will be at 4:00 p.m. and the other at 7:30 p.m.  Humm, I wonder which one will have the most fashion-ista-ized people there.  I cannot wait. 

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In talking with Lana she was completely overwhelmed with excitement as Lana released this quote, “I am completely excited to be having this event at such a great location.  When you walk into this theatre, it gives you the feel of old Hollywood glamour, but at the same time it boasts state-of-the art sound and lighting.  That is exactly the feeling I want for this event.”

Now, I know you are sitting there thinking how do you get nominated, who does the nominations, and what are the nomination categories?  Well just hold on to your little persian green paisley print scarf, I’m gonna give you the inside scoop.

To be nominated you must submit a name of a person or company, along with the perspective category.  Anyone could nominate anybody, but you have to go to the site and complete the online questionnaire.  The nomination categories are hairstylists, make-up artists, clothing designer and stylist, media member, model, photographer, boutique, and accessories.   If you want to recommend a category, guess what you can do that too.  See I told yaw this event was gonna be hot.

Nominations are still open, but NOMINATIONS END DECEMBER 31, 2011.  With over 825 nominations, what else, or should I say who else could be missing?

Not only will this event be a historical event for Maryland, but the winner of each category will also receive a prestigious and I might add very beautiful award.  The Fashion Awards MD, award is absolutely stunning.  I remember talking to Lana about the award and I remember telling her that when she selects her award it has got to know the socks off people – and gosh darnit it bought tears to my eyes when I saw it.  Well you saw the photo of the award, what do you think?  I bet you a warm day in June, that you find it beautiful too – now don’t you?

Not only is it my pleasure to provide you this article, but it is was also my pleasure to interview the master mind behind such a huge production.  Being the Founder/CEO of Baltimore Fashion Week, I personally know how much work it takes to put on our production. 

To first be able to think of such an idea is absolutely genius.  To be able to come up with the different categories is beyond time consuming, and not to mention the work it takes to find a host venue for an awards ceremony is beyond mind blowing.  From one producer to another – I admire Lana and my hat goes off to her *tipping my hat*. 

Okay . . . okay let’s jump right into the interview and you can see for yourself why I am so excited, as if you can’t already tell.

The Deev:  Can you tell the readers what type of business the KIS Agency is?

Lana Rae:  KIS Agency is an event, promotional and production agency, we also manage hire models for a number of events and bookings.

The Deev:  At what point in your life did you decide that starting, owning, and operating an agency was the type of business you wanted and why? *this question always has an interesting response*

Lana Rae:  Wow, well I can say I never had a goal of being a business owner, let alone be in the modeling/fashion industry.  I started out like many young girls do in the industry, a lot of my family, friends and even strangers told me that “I should model.”  I’m naturally a shy person but eventually said I’d try it out.  Long story short, after working in the industry I found out that I really do enjoy it, but my passion is being behind the scenes.  I love it!

The Deev:  Alright . . Alright *smiling* well tell us, who is the target audience for the KIS Agency?

Lana Rae:  I can say that I have not one specific target, each event and each client has its own set of goals, which can drastically change the target market for each.

The Deev:  Okay here comes the question that always excites me, how long has the KIS Agency been in business?

Lana Rae: At least seven years, very likely it may be eight.

The Deev:  With KIS Agency, you immediately think of models, is that all the KIS Agency does?

Lana Rae:  Anything from models or talent, to event and product promotion and fashion show production.

The Deev:  With most businesses and just living life in general as a business owner, what obstacles, if any have you had to overcome while managing the KIS Agency? 

Lana Rae:  Early in business it was a challenge for me to be taken seriously as a young, new female minority business owner.  A lot of people and companies come and go in this industry, and people had to realize that I was serious about what I do.

The Deev:  In one sentence, could you tell the readers why they should consider the KIS Agency for their next event? 

Lana Rae:  People should consider KIS Agency because we are one-of-a-kind, I love what I do and I’m passionate about the industry.

The Deev:  Could you briefly explain to our readers what part the KIS Agency plays in the fashion industry?

Lana Rae:  It plays a huge part in the industry, we are responsible for exposing our audience new and exciting fashion events and products, opening their eyes to things they may not otherwise be aware of.

The Deev:  Lana, every time I see you – there is never a string or hair out of place – literally and never a hair out of place.  No really your hair is always FAB.  Could you tell the readers and I would like to know the answer to this question too, just because I always find it interesting.  Tell us what your fashion style is?

Lana Rae:  That really depends on the day and occasion!  But overall I tend to wear “clean” looks; I don’t like a lot of busy-ness in my outfit, but I love to top it off with a statement piece.

The Deev:  Okay, now that we know your style, who is your favorite designer or retail store?

Lana Rae:  Runway-wise, I really love Balmain.  Alexander McQueen is my ultimate extreme couture favorite.  When I need to make a stop to my favorite retail store for a quick weekend getup, BeBe never fails!

The Deev:  This next question always receives an eyebrow raiser, but if you could be any fashion accessory what would it be and why? 

Lana Rae:  I’d be a pair of shoes, because I love a pair of hot shoes!  They are the great finish to any outfit.   

The Deev:  Okay this one is kinda crazy, if you could shop anywhere in the world where would it be? 

Lana Rae:  Beverly Hills and New York are the shopping capitals of the United States, but I’d really love to be able to shop in Paris.

The Deev:  This is a two part question why did you choose Paris, and what would THAT ultimate purchase be for you while in Paris?

Lana Rae:  Paris is the romance capital of the world.  Finding something timeless is the ultimate purchase!

Tickets for this fantabulous event *that’s right FAN-TAB-U-LOUS – okay you can use it if you want* go on sale December 1, 2011 and will be available in person at the University of Maryland box office, over the telephone by dialing (301) 405-ARTS [2787] or online at www.claricesmithcenter.umd.edu.

To nominate someone or just to find out more information on the upcoming event Fashion Awards MD visit the site www.fashionawardsmd.com.  

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