Lame actually

If your holiday wish is for one more cruise aboard “The Love
Boat,” director Garry Marshall may be your cinematic Santa: Although Captain
Stubing and cruise director Julie McCoy may have missed the boat, “New Year’s
Eve” managed to shanghai plenty of big (and not-so-big) names into appearing in
a witless, thoroughly synthetic sitcom, albeit one you have to pay good money
to watch.

A follow-up of sorts to last year’s “Valentine’s Day” —
which was nothing to shout about in the first place — “Eve” shoehorns as many
stars and starlets as possible into a bunch of thinly conceived playlets about
that old devil called love. For all the talk about romance and hooking up,
however, passion is conspicuously absent. As much as “Eve” celebrates desire
and devotion, Katherine Fugate’s screenplay doesn’t present a single believable
coupling (although it does include enough uses of the phrase “ball drop” to
make you wonder if you’re in close proximity to a junior high boys’ locker
room).

Even such seasoned pros as Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert DeNiro
and Sarah Jessica Parker can’t give the movie a lift. Poor Hilary Swank proves
once again that you can win two Oscars and still be utterly incapable of
playing comedy. As for Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Heigl, Jon Bon Jovi, Lea Michele
and Zac Efron, they romp around making silly faces and reading their lines as
if they were performing in a dinner theater that catered to the
hearing-impaired.

It’s perfect entertainment for those who do all their
seasonal shopping at the dollar store and wrap their presents in old grocery
bags.

The half-baked stories range from the old
strangers-stuck-in-an-elevator (Kutcher and Michele) to the even more
moth-bitten new-sparks-ignite-between-old-flames (Heigl and Bon Jovi). Parker’s
vignette about a divorced mom who dotes too much on her teenage daughter
(Abigail Breslin, slathered with so much makeup that at first it appears the story might be about high school call girls) goes off the rails around the time that Breslin abruptly
lifts her shirt in the middle of a busy subway station and crows, “This is not
a training bra!” DeNiro’s plays a dying man determined to persuade nurse Halle
Berry to grant his last wish in an episode that’s turgid instead of touching,
and Pfeiffer’s segment, in which an unappreciated executive secretary finally
decides to have some fun, never really clicks. (In a striking example of art imitating life, Pfeiffer enters the movie by tumbling into a pile of garbage.)

And let’s not even talk about
the heated competition between two expectant couples (Jessica Biel and Seth Meyers; Til Schweiger and Sarah Paulson) to see which will deliver
the official first baby of the new year; what could be less welcome than another
delivery room freak-out scene with a profanity-spitting mom-to-be and a hapless
husband?

Further undermining the film is Marshall’s reliance on
broad, sometimes offensive stereotypes, such as a voluptuous spitfire (Sofia
Vergara) who can’t stop mangling the English language or throwing herself at
rocker Bon Jovi — tee hee hee, it’s funny when Spanish people are slutty! — or
hand-flapping, hip-swinging gay characters who exist only to drop a few naughty
words and a couple of sassy expressions into conversations.

No wonder “New Year’s Eve” leaves you feeling like 300
champagne corks have just been popped — directly in your face.

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Interview: Sharon Page, author of ‘Sinful’

By Joyce Lamb, USA TODAY

Sharon Page, prolific author of sensual historical romance and erotic paranormal romance, loves creating “sexy, wicked men” (and we love reading them!). She’s also one of those blessed authors who got “The Call” from Kensington only a week after an agent took her on. And it wasn’t just The Call for one book. It was for three. Followed by a second deal just a few weeks later. Now that’s some impressive karma! Sharon joins us today to share her publishing experiences, what’s coming from her (which includes a lot of “blood” and “sin”) and how good workshops can help aspiring writers.

Joyce: Welcome, Sharon! You’ve written for three different publishers and in at least three different genres (historical, historical paranormal and erotic romance). How do you keep all that straight?

Sharon: I wish I could keep everything straight. Now that my kids are bigger and have more things on the go, I find it hard to keep things in my head. Ordering the wrong school photo of my son is the sad proof. : ) I’m good at sitting in the chair (or on an exercise ball) and writing, not so good at doing the administrative work of the biz, such as keeping story bibles of important details.

Currently, I write sensual historical romance — think Jo Beverley or Mary Balogh — and erotic paranormal romance.

Regency historicals drew me to romance, so it is a thrill to be writing them myself. Erotic romance got my foot in the publishing door, and I’ve been writing for Kensington’s Aphrodisia line for five years. My erotic paranormals are in the Blood series, including Blood Red, my first vampire romance and a National Readers’ Choice award winner. I wanted to write very sensual fantasy stories, so Blood Red has a vampire-slaying Regency miss heroine and two vampire heroes: the commanding earl of Brookshire and the wild Sebastian De Wynter.

Since then, the series has expanded to include a succubus heroine (Blood Wicked) and a dragon-shifter heroine (Blood Secret, coming in 2012). Blood Secret features a vampire hero who is also a dragon slayer. Bringing in new myths and characters keeps the stories fresh and fun to write.

Joyce: You must be wickedly organized to produce as many books as you do a year, but as all writers know, there are times when you hit a wall. What do you do to get re-inspired? Are there certain books, movies or TV shows that get the creative juices flowing again?

Sharon: Not so much organized, as I panic well. More organization will be my New Year’s resolution.

Not having enough plot worked out or recognizing I need to go deeper with character are reasons I hit the wall. What always saves my bacon is using techniques I’ve learned from workshops given by authors. I develop my story ideas based on what I learned about conflict from Madeline Hunter and Jo Beverley and Sabrina Jeffries. I’ve learned a lot from Michael Hauge’s workshops on story. For aspiring authors, I highly recommend going to good workshops, and I think every author gets something different out of each one.

I do turn to books on writing as well. One of my favorites is Save the Cat by Blake Snyder. He made complex concepts really accessible and visual (probably because it is written for screenwriters). I use his brilliant Pope in the Pool analogy while dealing with back story. And when I have plot problems, I always ask, “How can I deliver the promise of the premise?”

One great tip I learned was: write the dreck first. Don’t expect perfection the first time, and be OK with that. This lets me feel free to write. In the manuscript, I simply type things like “Fix,” “Blech” or “Insert brilliant scene here.”

Joyce: You say on your website that you sold five novels and one novella within one month. That must sound unbelievable to aspiring writers out there. How did that come about?

Sharon: Partly, it was good timing, but I’d learned that when I saw an opportunity, I had to move on it. When I made those sales, New York publishers were starting erotic romance lines, and author Kate Douglas had just announced her sale to Kensington and was encouraging other authors to submit. I literally pounced, contacting her agent and sending my material the next day. Her agent took me on and I sold a three-book deal to Kensington within the next week.

I also had a completed erotic vampire novel and a novella, so my agent sent those a couple of weeks later, and we had a second deal. I admit I did things a bit backwards: I sold the proposal first, and then told my agent about the completed books.

Joyce: You just released a self-published novella called Sinful. Is it connected to any of your other books? Have you self-pubbed other e-books?

Sharon: Sinful is a stand-alone story. I’ve always wanted to write a story with a Bow Street Runner hero, since I’m addicted to detective shows like Columbo (used to watch it with my mom), The Mentalist and Castle. Runners were the “police force” of Regency England. Sinful was my chance to write about a sexy detective-style hero.

Lyan, my former Runner hero, is hired privately to find a missing debutante. Suspecting she eloped, he hunts down a celebrated London dressmaker who helps young ladies escape before they are forced into loveless, duty marriages. Lyan discovers the modiste, Estelle, is the woman he intended to marry years ago. But after their one night of passion (before the wedding), Estelle ran out on him and disappeared.

Sinful is my first self-pubbed book, but I started in publishing when I sold an e-book to Ellora’s Cave, so I have been a part of the e-book industry. I’m planning to do more novellas and full-length novels in the future.

Joyce: Why would you, a USA TODAY best-selling author, self-publish books?

Sharon: Here are my top four reasons:

Taking Chances: I feel that publishers right now can’t take chances on a riskier story idea. With the tough economy, publishers have to look at books they think will hit a huge market. Self-publishing allows an author to take a chance on an idea that is too risky for mainstream. And self-publishing is a great way to get books to a niche audience.

Fun Projects: There may also be a project an author wants to do, but can’t find a place for it. For example, I might love to write a Christmas Regency, but a publisher’s schedule may not allow it. With self-publishing, I can say, “I want a Christmas book.” Then I can write it, get a cover, and have it edited in time to put it up for Xmas.

Promotion: Rather than putting together a booklet of excerpts, I can get a novella out and price it attractively to give readers the chance to try me. And I’m now “management,” so I can make the executive decisions. For example, I’m giving away my e-novella Sinful free for a limited time. It’s an early Christmas present for readers. Check out my website for details.

Marketing: This is a huge bonus about self-publishing. It is like “Marketing 101.” I’m in charge of how I tempt the reader to buy the book. What’s the “high concept” that’s going to snag reader attention? How can I write smokin’ back-cover copy? What’s the best excerpt to put up? Learning about marketing helps me when I craft a proposal for an editor. I see how the story doesn’t have to just “work”; it has to be capable of knocking it out of the park.

Personally, I don’t see this as an “either/or” situation. Publishing with traditional publishers is still a huge opportunity. Self-publishing helps to diversify an author’s career. I’m used to multiple projects: When I worked in the structural engineering field, I would work on several hundred projects in a year, for dozens of clients.

Joyce: Please tells us about Silent Night, Sinful Night, Engaged in Sin and what else you have coming up.

Sharon: Silent Night, Sinful Night is the first anthology I’m heading up as a USA TODAY best seller, which is very thrilling. It was my chance to write a vampire Christmas story! My story is Wicked for Christmas, set in Regency England. It’s erotic romance, and my hero presents the heroine with spicy versions of the gifts from the Twelve Days of Christmas. It was fun to invent naughty gifts ideas for “five gold rings,” “seven swans a-swimming,” etc.

Engaged in Sin is my second Dell historical romance and features one of my most “tortured heroes,” Devon Audley, the duke of March. Wounded in battle at Waterloo, Devon was left blinded and is tormented by memories of war. I love stories where the heroine heals the hero; where the hero is brave and noble, but is being crushed by the weight of guilt, loss, or painful memories. I’m pleased to say Engaged in Sin is a RT Book Reviews Reviewers’ Choice Award nominee for Best Sensual Historical.

Coming in late March of 2012, I have Blood Secret from Kensington, the erotic romance with a dragon-shifter heroine and a vampire/dragon-slaying hero.

Thank you so much for having me as your guest, Joyce!

Joyce: Thank you, Sharon! To find out more about Sharon and her books, you can visit her website.

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