British rape victim shares an unflinching diary of her attack

A woman has bravely shared the diary of her rape online, including the horrific details of the attack, the medical examinations she had to undergo and the legal process.  

The Imgur user gave an account of her experiences, saying: ‘I’m a girl in the UK who got raped and I just wanted to share my story in case anyone is considering reporting something that happened to them.’

Her account has now been viewed more than 317,000 times on Imgur. 

An Imgur user shared an account of how she’d been raped on Imgur to encourage other victims to report their attacks to the police. She began by explaining how the attack occurred after a night out

She explained that the attack happened at the end of July 2015 when she was on a night out with a friend.

‘I had a lot to drink, and though my last memory was of being in control of myself and my decisions, I blacked out and can’t remember a thing past a certain point until the morning at maybe 6am,’ she explained. 

Her last memory was of chatting to a man she had met that night after becoming separated from her friend.   

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‘He was being a bit flirty and at one point put his arm around me,’ she recalled. ‘But I brushed him off and explained that I had a boyfriend and that nothing like that was going to happen between us, that I would just like to chat until my friend got back so that I wasn’t on my own in the club. 

‘He said he was sorry and that’s fine, I while later I got up to go look for my friend. This is about the last thing I remember.’

Her next memory was waking up in a strange room with a man she’d never seen before.

The victim explained that she had had a lot to drink and her last memory was of being in control of herself before she blacked out couldn’t remember anything until around 6am (picture posed by a model)

‘I started screaming for him to let me out, to give me back my clothes, phone and wallet but he wouldn’t,’ she said. 

‘The worst hour of my life followed, which included him forcing me to perform oral sex on him. He eventually gave me my belongings back and let me go.’

As soon as she got home, the victim made what she called ‘the hardest decision I have ever made in my life’ to call the police.  

‘I wanted nothing more than to shower, brush my teeth, curl up in my duvet and sleep until I felt better,’ she explained. ‘But then I remembered something I read somewhere saying that rapists often have more than one victim. This wasn’t just about me.’

Officers arrived at the woman’s house, took her first account of what had happened, bagged her clothes as evidence and immediately sent someone to the perpetrator’s address to arrest him. 

Then the process of collecting physical evidence began.  

‘The officer swabbed my mouth and performed a swill test,’ she explained. ‘This is where I was given a special liquid to swill thoroughly around my mouth and then spit into a container.

She woke up in a strange house with a man she had never seen before. He subjected her to a horrific sexual attack over the course of an hour before allowing her to leave

‘I also gave a urine sample. The officers both encouraged me to tell someone about what had happened but at this point I refused. I was a wreck.’

However, the friend who she’d been out with the night before phoned and she broke down and asked them to come over, saying: ‘Something awful has happened.’

The police took them both to a Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) so the victim could have forensic examination. 

‘The examination involved cataloging all marks, bruises, scrapes and cuts, which I had a lot of, on a chart, and measuring them,’ she said.

‘Swabs were taken from the cuts and underneath my nails. Then the intimate exams took place where the doctor swabbed inside and outside my vagina and rectum.’ 

The victim then gave a video interview to police and drew some maps of the room and the house she’d woken up in.  

‘I was told that my interview would be typed up and put to him and that the case would be put to a member of the CPS (Crown Prosecution Service) to decide whether or not to charge him. 

Back at home, she called the police – a decision she describe as the hardest she’s ever made as all she wanted to do was have a shower and sleep until she felt better (file photo)

‘I was also encouraged that even if he isn’t charged, if he does anything like this again my allegations would be on his record so there would be more chance of a charge next time.’ 

She was given a prescription for anti-retroviral drugs to take for 28 days to reduce the chances of getting HIV. Her attacker was arrested on the same day.  

The next day the victim had to undergo tests for STDs, and 24 hours later – two days after the attack – the perpetrator was charged. 

‘He had given an interview and started answering questions but changed to “no comment” as soon as they showed him CCTV from outside the club and asked him about me,’ she said.

‘He later released a prepared statement saying that we had had consensual vaginal sex and that he couldn’t remember any oral sex and there was definitely no anal sex.’ 

The brave woman describes herself as a ‘wreck’ after her attacker pleaded not guilty to all the charges, meaning she would have to face him in court during a trial

Police discouraged her parents from going into court as she gave evidence to they didn’t look ‘intimidating’ or that they were there to get their ‘pound of flesh.’

A defence lawyer asked why she was wearing lingerie on the night of the attack and claimed she was clearly planning to have sex with someone

The victim’s friend gave a statement as well as the man who had tried to flirt with her in the nightclub.  

‘I cannot emphasise how much this comforted me,’ she said. ‘When you know every word you say will be questioned, having someone willing to step forward and confirm they were rejected by a girl in a club was surprising and brave.

‘I cannot thank him enough for providing evidence that I wasn’t out to pull that night or to cheat on my boyfriend.’ 

The perpetrator was charged with two counts of rape (vaginal and oral) and one count of false imprisonment.

‘He was denied bail and remanded in custody based on the fact he had only been in the area for two weeks and had no job or family to guarantee he would attend court, and was considered a flight risk,’ the victim explained.

‘I can’t remember the date but the forensic evidence revealed his semen was in my anus and mouth,’ she continued. ‘Anal rape was added to the charges.’

The perpetrator pleaded not guilty on all counts. 

‘This made me very very very sad,’ she said. ‘I had hoped the forensic evidence would convince him to plead guilty.

‘But I believe lawyers always advise clients accused of rape to plead not guilty as it is very hard to prove and the burden of proof is on the prosecution.’

In early December the victim found out that she didn’t have HIV, and all her other STD tests had come back negative which was a ‘huge relief’.

Her attacker’s trial commenced on 4th January 2016, and she said that the cross examination was ‘hard’.

‘The defence lawyer tried to insinuate I wasn’t that drunk and that I said, “Your place or mine?” to the defendant. 

‘I was shown the CCTV of me talking to him outside the club but I didn’t remember a thing about what I was being shown. 

When her attacker was found guilty, she felt like she could ‘breathe again’. She encouraged other victims to come forward, saying the police had been wonderful

‘At one point the CCTV shows me storming away from the defendant and I had also lost a heel of my shoe by this point so I was clearly incredibly drunk.’

Despite the accused having friends in court to support him, the victim’s family were discouraged from attending the trial when she gave evidence. 

‘The police dissuaded my parents from going into court with me as they said it can look intimidating and like we’re “there for our pound of flesh”,’ she explained. 

‘I also didn’t sit in the public gallery for the rest of the trial after giving my evidence because of this. Even though some of the defendant’s friends were sat there during my evidence.’

PRE-TRIAL COUNSELLING FOR VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT 

According to Rape Crisis England Wales survivors of rape can seek counselling before their case has gone to trial, sometimes referred to as pre-trial therapy. 

However, they do need to disclose that they are having that counselling to the police, CPS and defence.

A counsellor’s notes can be subpoenaed and used by the defence during a trial, as long as the defence can convince the judge that they contain information of direct relevance to the case. 

It is advised that, if having pre-trial therapy, the survivor doesn’t discuss the case itself, her evidence or the events surrounding and details of the attack with her counsellor – only the effects that her experiences have had on her.

If a survivor goes to a specialist counsellor trained in sexual violence issues, like all counsellors at Rape Crisis centres, then they will understand the legal implications, boundaries and note-taking procedures they need to be mindful of. 

If a complainant has access to an Independent Sexual Violence Advocate (ISVA), also often employed by a Rape Crisis centre or equivalent, during the criminal justice process, they can ensure she gets correct information and access to the services she wants and needs.

But she was even more upset when the defence lawyer questioned the underwear she was wearing on the night of the attack.

‘By far the worst part was when he asked why I was wearing lingerie,’ she explained. 

‘He said that I had only been wearing it in the hopes that someone would see it so obviously I was out to cheat and have sex. 

I explained, after making a shocked and indignant noise at being asked a question I thought wasn’t allowed, that when wearing skin tight leggings thongs provide little to no panty line and that I wear fancy underwear to make myself feel good not for anyone else.

‘He also had a go at me for not calling the police even earlier. I thought these questions were a bit stupid considering the police told me my call was really early which was why they managed to get a lot of forensic evidence from me.’

On Friday 8th January, her rapist was found guilty on all counts.

‘I can breathe again. I can talk again. I can get counselling,’ she said, explaining that she couldn’t attend therapy before the trial as notes made by professionals can be used by the defence. 

‘Without being able to speak openly and freely there may not have been much point,’ she explained.

She ended her account by pleading with other victims to come forward.

‘Please, please, please, please report any sexual assault or rape that has happened to you,’ she said.

‘The police were nothing but lovely to me. Even if the perpetrator isn’t charged it is worth it to inform the police in case it happens to someone else. 

‘Even if the defendant is found not guilty, it doesn’t mean you are not believed, just that there is not enough evidence. You can do it, I believe in you.’

She concluded by saying that she was being supported by her ‘glorious’ and ‘amazing’ boyfriend.  

‘He was abroad when all this happened and though I told him something bad had happened I didn’t tell him what it was until he got back,’ she explained. 

‘He has been so amazing and supportive throughout this entire process and I wanted to thank him. He made me feel like less of a mess.’

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