Teachers and students can’t be "friends"

I understand where Missouri is coming from with a ban on teachers consorting with students on social networking sites like Facebook. Essentially, teachers cannot “friend” students on Facebook, but they can set up a fan page, which students may “like” if they choose. (If you are a teacher who doesn’t know why I”m using friend and fan as verbs then you’ve got nothing to worry about.)

Thwarting inappropriate contact between students and teachers is the Show Me state’s goal. But two concerns: a broad-brush approach leads the public to mistakenly believe the problem has risen to a new level of urgency. It has not. It also cast aspersions on all teachers, rather than the few who engage in inappropriate behavior with students.

Some sympathy must be reserved for school districts because they can be held liable if it is proven they should’ve known about an inappropriate relationship or failed to protect a student from a predator.

So what are schools to do, hire a team of private eyes or encourage students to tell on each other? (I’ve written about education for nearly two decades and in most of these cases students seem to have known which teachers were crossing the line.) I’m also concerned about the length of time a teacher’s misconduct can go undetected. Here’s an extreme example: years ago I wrote about the Seattle Public Schools’ belated discovery of an inappropriate teacher-student relationship only after the student had graduated, married the teacher and was getting a divorce. In court documents the young woman acknowledged entering the relationship with her husband when she was in 8th grade and he was her teacher. Surprisingly, the teacher was still teaching when the discovery was made, albeit in another district. Credit Seattle school officials for going after him anyway.

One blogger’s fresh outrage on Huffpost tries to outline why the law is a bad idea. But the author gives short shrift to the value of boundaries between students and teachers, not just to prevent sexual misconduct, but to maintain teaching’s underlying integrity and authority. Parents can’t be friends with their children and I don’t think teachers can be friends with their students. That doesn’t eclipse being friendly. But that’s just me. What do you think?

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Facebook Adds ‘I’m Expecting’ Option

Nichole Beaudry is author of in these small moments, a blog about finding meaning and beauty in life’s ordinary moments. She’s been accused of being sweet, but beneath that, she’s honest and open, with a hint of snark. Former English professor, turned stay-at-home mom, Nichole maintains that although Shakespeare has been replaced by Fancy Nancy, she is using those college degrees. Nichole and her husband, Craig, live in Northern California,with their two young children, Katie (4) and Matthew (1). They are currently working on baby number three.

Monica Bielanko was born and raised on the wild frontier of late 1970′s Utah. She once went to see an unknown band from Philly and three months later she married the guitar player. They are still hitched six years later. She lived in Brooklyn, New York for a few years and she misses the Big Apple bad. She works in TV news. She loves nachos and beer and music and books and her two black labs. Her heart belongs to her toddler, Violet and her newborn little boy, Henry. Oh yeah, she also likes wine. When she’s not babbling you can find her at thegirlwho.net.

Melanie Blodgett is a party planner and writes daily at the lifestyle blog, You Are My Fave. When she’s not writing or tweeting 30 Rock quotes, you can find her on a bike ride, handcrafting party decor or on her daily trip to Target. She resides in Denver with her husband, Ryan. They’re currently waiting for the miracle of a baby.

Meredith Carroll is a native New Yorker who now lives in Aspen, Colo., where she writes her weekly, award-winning newspaper column, Meredith Pro Tem. She also contributes regularly to The Huffington Post and has appeared in other publications such as The New York Times and Town Country. She is a former TV producer and radio host, and enjoyed (or suffered through) a brief and undistinguished career in feature films as well. Rush Limbaugh once called her a babe, although she’s not sure if that’s something about which she should be bragging. Read more at MeredithCarroll.com.

Lauren Hartmann is a preschool teacher, wardrobe stylist and first-time mama-to-be blogging about life in Portland, Oregon with her husband Craig and their dog Marley at The Little Things We Do. She likes weedy flowers, carbohydrates, any excuse to dress up and is kind of addicted to Twitter. She knows a lot about kids and very little about babies, but is looking forward to learning as she goes.

Michelle Horton has covered everything from beauty to lifestyle to politics, but since having her son at the ripe age of 23, she’s been a regular contributor to Babble.com where she blogs at FamilyStyle. She lives in upstate New York with her husband and son, and occasionally updates her blog at Mama Never Said.

Emily Malone is a blogger, writer, marathon runner, vegetarian chef, and self-proclaimed peanut butter addict. Originally from the Midwest, in just a few short years she has bounced around from the South to the East Coast, finally landing across the way in Seattle, Washington. Until now, the house she shares with husband Casey has been ruled by their two crazy dogs – Huey and Indy. But that will surely change when they welcome their first baby in October 2011. When not Babbling about babies, she’s doing recipe development and contributions for publications such as SELF and O magazines, or posting healthy recipes and occasional gratuitous photos of her dogs at DailyGarnish.com.

Ceridwen Morris is a writer, mother and childbirth educator. She is co-author of It’s All Your Fault and From the Hips as well as several screenplays (for Miramax and HBO). Ceridwen is on the board of The Childbirth Education Association of Metropolitan New York and teaches childbirth classes at Tribeca Parenting. She lives in New York City with her husband and two children.

Arianne Segerman writes words on the screen at night after the homeschooling is done and her three boys are lost to dreamland. She shares stories on her personal blog, To Think Is To Create, about life as a mom to autism, walking through grief after losing her daughter in 2010, and the beauty and soul balm in all of it. Arianne is expecting a baby in the Fall of 2011 and has finally stopped throwing up. In her spare time she can either be found window shopping on Etsy or watching reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Ali Smith is a transplant to the Southern city of Richmond, Virginia, where she lives in a noisy apartment with her husband and toddler, Oscar. Aside from family, Ali’s favorite things are spontaneous road trips, homemade vinaigrettes, and invitations to do stuff. She sometimes considers writing her profession, but for now, you’ll find a hodgepodge of her thoughts and fixations at Ali Loves Curtis. She’s currently fixated on the pending arrival of her second child in December.

Holly Whitney is an artist, a mother, and a teacher – which explains the mystery behind her blog Artist Mother Teacher. Holly teaches design at a small NW Ohio college and spends her days off hanging out with her foxy musician husband and their ridiculously smart pre-school aged son. With another boy due in September, Holly will be highly outnumbered by boys in her house but will reign supreme as the only woman in the house.

Angela England is a problogger and freelance writer who lives in rural Oklahoma with her husband and four children, soon to be five. She is the Editor-in-Chief of Blissfully Domestic, ebook author, licensed massage therapist, and CAPPA trained childbirth educator and labor support doula. She knows first hand that sometimes there are differences between what you read and what you experience when you’re pregnant! Find her on twitter at @AngEngland and blogging at Untrained Housewife about the renaissance of homemaking.

Valerie Rowekamp is mom to a sweet boy (3), expecting another mid-September, and wife to an attorney. A former professional cheerleader and girl-about-town in her beloved city of Dallas, she started her personal style blog, CharmedValerie (www.CharmedValerie.com), as a creative outlet to get back in touch with her fashion-loving self (and perhaps inspire other moms to do the same). Valerie also vlogs fashion tips, beauty tricks, and everything in between on YouTube and she’d love to connect with you on twitter

Valerie Rowekamp is a part time commercial interior designer, writer, wife and mother to three (soon to be four) unintentionally hilarious children. She can oftentimes be found barefoot in the kitchen, or hiding in the isles of her favorite thrift store buying other peoples junk. Emily rants and raves about urban life, living in downtown Indianapolis, at her personal blog, DesignHER Momma as well as on twitter.

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