The Embarrassing Real Housewives of Atlanta

November 25, 2014 by admin
Filed under Choosing Lingerie

Tonight’s typos are generously sponsored by Patron.

The most interesting thing about this show is that it is not interesting. These women are sometimes interesting, and their interactions are occasionally interesting, but the show seems to just fall flat. When I said they were interesting of course I meant some of them are interesting, and then there is Cynthia. They are fun together but rarely together because they cannot stand each other. I’m bored already.

We start with Kenya who is out with her aunt. Perhaps because only her aunt will shoot with her. Her aunt clearly thinks Kenya is a whack job. She is not an actress and cannot hide the expression of confusion and disgust on her face. Poor girl. She is an amazing woman to go on TV and support a woman who is clearly unstable. Cut to Kandi, Porsha, and Phaedra. We are going back and forth between scenes.

The hens are cackling. Kandi is a master gossip. All she does is gossip, support her mother, and show us that a sexless marriage can work. We are getting flashbacks to the reunion and I’m unable to follow everything thanks to Patron. Auntie is pushing Kenya to make peace, Porsha is the only one listening to Porsha, and Phaedra shows up with no desire to be there other than a paycheck.

Kandi tells Phaedra and Porsha Apollo lied about Kenya. Kenya is vindicated and recites Shakespeare to make her point. Meanwhile everyone is in shock about Apollo’s confession. The truth is there is a very distinct possibility Apollo is lying about lying and Kenya blew him again as a good luck in prison gift. That’s the thing about RHOA, these chicks not only know how to lie, they own the lie.

Over to Cynthia and Peter, they show a shot of him getting ice from the fridge. Really? There is nothing interesting about this couple. Cynthia is painful and I would rather birds poop on Chateau Sheree in slow motion than watch her. How is it they keep her on the show? She brings no entertainment value and her husband makes me itchy just looking at him. Atlanta is giving us nothing to care about.

Time for Kandi and Todd to convince us they have sex. She’s in lingerie, he’s in a towel out of the shower, and there is absolutely no sexual chemistry between them. None. It’s actually creepy because they’re like siblings hanging out naked. Kandi is once again pushing for a baby and Todd is once again deflecting and making it clear he does not want one. This relationship is very uncomfortable.

Time to meet new girl Claudia. I don’t like this chick. She is shopping for furniture with Kenya because she just moved to Atlanta. Whatever. She mistakes the Miami based showroom for Italian and I am laughing at her. She simulates sex on a bed, pulls the I was bullied as a child card, and is there to stir shit up. She is the new Kenya wannabe. She is a bitch and a snake in my opinion.

Kenya lets us know she ended it with her fake African boyfriend. Claudia wants us to know she is an animal in the sack and I’m done with her. She is a fame whore anddesperate loser. She leaves the showroom telling them she’ll be back to get stuff. Um, no she won’t. The only thing Claudia does for this show is take it into the gutter. Not sure why I have such strong feelings about her.

Cut to NeNe, she is visiting Porsha, who is dating a rich, old, married man. She is clearly a different person this season. It is the first time since we met her she is having sex, so there is that. She is also getting paid for sex and we all know Porsha likes money. Good for her. Porsha is filling NeNe in on the gossip and while I love Nene and she makes this show, she dumbs it down with Porsha.

NeNe thinks Apollo is lying about the lie and Kenya has probably banged Kenya. Time to dump all over Cynthia. They’re going to unite in there dislike of her and it is funny. NeNe is done with the gossip and I’m done with this show. I don’t get why we have to watch them catch up about what happened while they weren’t shooting. It is bullshit and as fans we deserve more respect.

Time for another split scene. One on hand we have Apollo talking to the RHOA resident lawyer about a divorce while we watch Phaedra playing with the kids. There is not enough tequila in my home to make this interesting. Phaeda’s kids are beautiful and her choosing to do this season is gross. She is more concerned with herself and needs to walk away and take care of her kids.

For these kids to be able to go back and watch this is sad and they have enough to deal with without film of their screwed up parents. This is not just on Apollo either. Phaedra is not winning any parenting prizes here. I feel bad for all the kids of all the housewives in all the cities, but this one in particular is sad. Apollo and Phaedra want to hurt each other more than they want to protect the kids.

Time for Todd’s kid to move in with them. She is 18, a high school graduate, devoid of personality, and going to start a clothing line. Riley is not interested in this girl and it is sad. Riley looks like Mama Joyce, acts like Mama Joyce, and again we are watching people damage their children. Riley and Joyce are worried about losing their money to Todd and his daughter. These people are gross.

Cynthia is going to have lunch with Porsha. Porsha turns up an hour late and Cynthia is not pleased. That she sat there for an hour is hilarious. She is so desperate for camera time she waited an hour for a woman she can’t stand. Cynthia is a moron and starts off the conversation being an uptight bitch. If I were not getting paid to watch this show, I would not be watching. They are pathetic.

They show this scene for what seems like forever. They’re talking over each other, not listening, and it is childish. Porsha cannot speak English and neither can Cynthia. These are uneducated, silly, immature, and entitled women who are not made for TV. Cynthia needs to stop talking and just be pretty. Porsha should just get on a pole and call it a day. RHOA is not keeping it real.

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