Britney Spears Is Sending Kate Middleton Her Entire New …

Britney Spears is currently traveling the world to promote her new lingerie collection—Intimate Britney Spears—a range that offers 12 variations of lingerie and sleepwear “inspired by the romance and elegance of a time gone by.” Yesterday, as she did in New York City a few weeks ago, Spears took the stage in London to present her designs. She also answered a few questions from the assembled press, during which she revealed that she will be sending the entire collection—Ambrosia, Buttercup, and the 10 other “stories” (yes, the various lines within the collection are called “stories”)—to none other than Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge. “I would love to see Kate in my underwear designs,” Britney said. “That would be splendid. I’m going to send her one of every piece. So she’ll have plenty to choose from.” (Britney may not even realize that Kate is responsible for one of the more famous “sleepwear” moments of the past 50 years.) Spears added she’d love to see fellow pop star Gwen Stefani try on her designs, as well. “I’d love to see Gwen Stefani modeling my collection,” Spears said. “I think she’s very cool and sexy.”

But that’s enough talk about someone who isn’t Kate—back to Kate! Is Kate a Britney fan? Does she occasionally put her earbuds in late at night and listen to “Lucky,” mouthing the words, visions of the throngs of photographers who tail her ceaselessly burning in her mind? Has she sung the classic Spears ballad “My Baby” (which begins with the lyrics “Tiny hands / Yes, that’s you”) to Prince George? Does William occasionally perform “Toxic” at karaoke? (We feel very confident answering that one with a “Yes, definitely.”) Did Kate e-mail a link to “Womanizer” when it was first released to Prince Harry with the subject line “lol i think u will like this one…”? Is Kate aware that Britney had a very public crush on William when she was 20 and the two of them exchanged e-mails? Does anyone else find it vaguely revelatory that Britney Spears and Kate Middleton are both 32?

As we all carefully consider these questions, we offer up the following “remix” of Spears’s 2008 single “Circus,” with the lyrics of the pre-chorus and chorus altered to be appropriate for Kate. The official title, so that you can update your iTunes library accordingly when Kate records this someday, is “Black Tie Charity Gala (The Kate Middleton “Circus” Remix).” (“Black tie charity gala” must be sung extremely fast, by the way, so that it takes the same amount of time that it takes Britney to sing the word “circus.”)

I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins 
Fascinator on my head and I’m ready to breaaaak
I’m a literal duchess, the palace is my stage
I’ve got one baby, number two on the wayyyyy

All eyes on my hair when I leave the house
Just like a blacktiecharitygala
When I hold Georgie, everybody wants a selfie
Just like a blacktiecharitygala 
Prince William on one side-a-me, Harry behind 
Show me what you can do
Everybody let go, we can make a dancefloor
Just like a blacktiecharitygala

Related: Yours Truly, Britney: An Intimate Afternoon With Britney Spears at the Debut of Her Lingerie Line

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