After more than two years of development, the sex toy company behind the male masturbatory aid Fleshlight has sprung a product that finally allows men to have sex with their iPads.
See also: App Turns Smartphone Into a Sex Toy for Couples
The Fleshlight LaunchPAD, a very real, most-definitely-not-a-hoax case for iPads, attaches to your tablet and serves as a holster for your Fleshlight, which then allows you to hump the device hands-free. All for the one-time low price of $24.95!
Why, exactly, does humanity need such a device?
“We gathered a lot of data and people are moving in masses to watching their adult content via mobile devices, so the Fleshlight LaunchPAD is the perfect accessory for men everywhere,” Fleshlight spokesperson Daniel Pacheco says. “We’re happy to see that men view this as an outlet of fulfilling their sexual fantasies and men’s pleasure products are getting more widespread acceptance just like women’s sex toys.”
Assuming long-distance friends want to get close to their partners’ shaky paunches, the company explains on its website how it expects the iPad case to be deployed:
The Fleshlight LaunchPAD is perfect for point-of-view content, long distance play with a friend, or enjoying a variety of your favorite films, clips, and images while using your Fleshlight product. Once fitted snuggly in place, it will maintain its position during use while allowing full access to touch-screen functionality and exposing the onboard controls, like volume and power.
Not wanting a soft launch, the company released an ad on Thursday that shows how it envisions the product penetrating the mainstream market: A couple sits video-chatting on their anniversary when the man surprises his lucky lady with a present — lingerie.
“Try it on,” he says with a mischievous grin. “Right now?” she responds playfully. “Yes,” he gutturally demands, tilting the iPad and attaching his Fleshlight as she begins to undress. The ad then descends into a manic fit of bouncing LaunchPADs and dubstep.
YouTube commenters, naturally, were amazed. “Is this real life?,” “WHAT THE F*CK,” and “Wait…this is serious?” some of them said.
Pacheco says the reaction has been immense, with more than 650,000 views on the YouTube video and mentions on several sites around the web.
We’re not sure if this case will void your AppleCare warranty — neither company has said so as of Friday afternoon. The real question, for us, is will we ever trust refurbished iPads again?
* Brian Ries really didn’t want his byline on this, but he did, in fact, contribute to the entirety of this report.
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