Sex in Music: Grammy Edition (NSFW)
January 23, 2016 by admin
Filed under Choosing Lingerie
The existence of stereotyped, objectifying, explicit content in mainstream music is one thing. The rewarding of it is quite another. And that is where the problem lies for me. In this post I look at exactly what kinds of music is being celebrated by the Grammy Awards in 2016. NOTE: This post includes explicit language and imagery.
Can you guess which top-selling artist wrote this song?
“Bitches down to do it either way, often
Baby I can make that pussy rain, often
Often, often, girl I do this often
Make that pussy poppin’, do it how I want it
Often, often, girl I do this often…
…Infatuated by the fame status
She wanna ride inside the G-Class grey matic
I come around, she leave that nigga like he ain’t matter
That girl been drinkin’ all day, need to change bladder
She’s just happy that the crew’s back in town
She’s ‘bout to go downtown for a whole hour
If I had her, you can have her, man it don’t matter.”
Now a true or false question: is the album on which this song appears nominated for a Grammy? Based on the way I’ve set this up, the answer is probably obvious, but, yes, it’s true.
As for the artist, it’s The Weeknd. Yep. The same guy who sings the mega-hit Can’t Feel My Face, which is nominated for Record of the Year and Best Pop Solo Performance. The album is Beauty Behind the Madness; the song cited above is called Often. In addition to Can’t Feel My Face, the album spawned another number 1 song called The Hills, in which The Weeknd talks about having “fucked two bitches” before hooking up with the woman in the song.
On the distaff side, Nicki Minaj is nominated—to my great shock—for the song Truffle Butter. The song includes guest raps from Lil Wayne and Drake of Hotline Bling fame. Sample lyrics below.
From Lil Wayne:
Truffle butter on your pussy;
Cuddle buddies on the low;
You ain’t gotta tell your friend that I eat it in the morning, Cause she gonna say I know;
Can I hit it in the bathroom? Put your hands on the toilet. I’ll put one leg on the tub;
Girl, this is my new dance move, I just don’t know what to call it;
But bitch you dancing with the stars…
I bought some cocaine you can snort it;
She became a vacuum, put it on my dick like carpet;
Suck the white off white chocolate”
And from Drake, talking about how much money and influence he has: “I could probably make some step-sisters fuck each other.” Drake also shows who’s boss when he addresses the “pretty women” in a club: “We should all disappear right now; Look, you’re gettin’ all your friends and you’re gettin’ in the car; And you’re coming to the house, are we clear right now, huh?”
Equally surprising is Minaj’s nomination in the Best Rap/Sung Collaboration category for Only, a song where she states she has never “fucked” Drake or Lil Wayne, but if she did she would “ménage with ‘em and let ‘em eat [her] ass like a cupcake.” Drake guests again and talks about the type of woman he likes “ [the] type wanna suck you dry and then eat lunch with you.”
Also up for a slew of awards this year? Kendrick Lamar. In fact, he leads the pack with 11 nominations. His album To Pimp a Butterfly contains some powerful commentary about racism, culture, and, according to a Billboard magazine reviewer, “personal identity.” It is certainly worthy of consideration for an award. Lyrically, this album is less explicit than the others discussed here*, but Lamar shows he is not above using extremely objectifying imagery. The still shots below are from the for These Walls, another track from To Pimp a Butterfly:
None of this is new, of course. Explicit lyrics are common in genres like rap and hip-hop, and have been for some time. Similarly, sexual objectification of women has been a standard theme in videos across many genres of popular music for years.**
The existence of such content is one thing. The rewarding of it is quite another. And that is where the problem lies for me.
If we look beyond the explicit images and lyrics to the implicit messages they convey about male and female sexuality, we can see there is not much here worth celebrating. Consider the not-so-subtle messages about sex in the songs cited above:
- The Weeknd talks about a girl who has been drinking all day, is happy to see the crew—i.e. a group of guys—and is going to go down on them for an hour. He then addresses another guy saying he can “have” her too, as though she is just a plaything to be passed around among all of them.
- Drake talks about two step-sisters getting it on; girl-on-girl sex being a standard male fantasy. But it is his statement that he could “make” them do it that is problematic, bringing to mind the image of a man demanding sexual favours and a woman performing at his behest. The same theme appears in the “Are we clear right now” lyric where he orders the “pretty girls” to get in his car.
- The trope of females performing for males is also present in the video for These Walls, where multiple lingerie-clad women visit Lamar in his bedroom, and two women rub their “booty” against a man’s face.
- Lyrics about eating pussy—with truffle butter in the case of Lil Wayne—and how well a woman can “suck dick” further entrench the idea of women servicing men. In these songs, it’s not about her, but about him getting what he wants. (The many references in these songs to bitches and pussy also serve to normalize these words and lessen the stigma attached to using them.)
The imagery in these songs corresponds directly to the stereotypes of male and female sexuality that dominate much of our media. Academics refer to this as the heterosexual script. In this script, men are presented as sexually adventurous, promiscuous, insatiable, and in charge. Women, on the other hand, are considered sexually passive. They are expected to exploit their looks to get male attention, not prioritize their desire, and be content to do what it takes to make a man happy.
(These stereotypes are countered to some extent by Minaj, who is no pushover and, with her explicit lyrics, makes clear that she calls the shots when it comes to sex. But she is no shrinking violet when it comes to language or imagery either. Her video for Anaconda proves this point. Some say Minaj is a feminist for expressing her sexuality on her own terms and for herself, not men. All well and good, but she still engages in objectification of the women around her in videos like Anaconda and is quite comfortable describing other women as bitches.)
Of course the powers that be at the Grammys do not consider the bigger implications I’ve outlined here when they select their nominees. They are more interested in proving their cultural currency by embracing artists who trade on sexual—and often sexist—themes. They also like the potential for controversy these artists bring—it’s good for ratings, after all, and ratings are all that matters.
By nominating these songs and albums, however, the Grammys are showing not so much that they are “cool” or “edgy” but that they condone sexism and objectification. Further, they are promoting very problematic content to a wider, often young, audience.
Why does this matter? Research has shown that the heterosexual script—so apparent in music videos and other areas of our popular culture—may normalize traditional attitudes toward male and female sexual roles, especially among teens. As I note in my book, psychologist Janna L. Kim believes that it is because the heterosexual script is “so invisible and perceived to be so natural and normal that its potential impact on adolescents’ sexual decision-making is so formidable.”*** In short, although it goes largely unnoticed, the heterosexual script can teach teens a lot about how to behave and what to expect in a sexual or romantic relationship. As we saw above, the lessons are often neither positive nor healthy, especially for boys who see male sexual aggression and dominance presented as ordinary and natural.
The Grammys are not the draw they once were on television, but the show has found new life online through live streams and conversations on social media. It is a pop culture event and it generates discussion. Being nominated creates a sort of legitimacy for artists. And while teens may not care which musicians the Grammys choose, the chatter around an artist might motivate them to watch their videos or stream their songs. As parents, we may see the nomination as a stamp of approval and choose to ignore the wider messages in an artist’s full range of work.
It is important we do not. The exalting of problematic sexual themes in a mainstream awards show proves how “normal” stereotyped, objectifying, and degrading content has become. As always, we are the first line of defense against such negative media messaging. It is critical that we know what our sons are seeing and hearing so we can talk to them about it and teach them to question what media is telling them.
*With the exception of “For Free” which, according to website Genius is intended not to sexualize or objectify women, but as a metaphor for how black men are treated and perceived in American culture.
**For her part, nominee Elle King flips the script, choosing to blatantly sexually objectify men in the video for Ex’s and Oh’s. Some applaud this turning of tables as praise-worthy payback for all the objectification women have endured–a view that I do not accept.
***Kim, Janna et al. “From Sex to Sexuality: Exposing the Heterosexual Script on Primetime Network Television” Journal of Sex Research 44, no. 2 (2007): p. 146-7, 156.
