Divorce rate at lowest level in a decade but couples spend £3B on failing …

November 24, 2015 by admin
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Divorce lawyer Vanessa Lloyd Platt told Sky News: ‘There is a direct correlation, the bigger, the more over the top the wedding, the more likely the marriage will end quite soon.

‘It’s like the huge dream, and people don’t really live like that. And it comes crashing down.

‘Have a medium sized wedding, but don’t go over the top with trumpets, and huge flowers looking like the hanging gardens of Babylon, it just doesn’t help. The money could’ve gone into a house.’

The number of divorces in 2013 was highest among men and women aged 40 to 44 and almost half of all couples had at least one child under 16 when they split up. More than a fifth of the children were under five and 64 per cent were under 11.

Of couples who married in 1968 only 20 per cent of marriages had ended in divorce by their 15th wedding anniversary.

But for those who married in 1998 almost a third of their marriages had ended by this time.

In 2013, there were 9.8 men divorcing per thousand married males and 9.8 women divorcing per thousand married females. This is the lowest rate since 2003.

James Brown, a Family lawyer with JMW Solicitors, argued that the drop in the percentage of couples being divorced reflected the impact of what he described as ‘anti-marriage’ rulings by the courts.

He said: ‘Whilst any reduction in the proportion of couples whose marriages end in divorce could be regarded on the one hand as a cause for celebration, it’s worth putting these figures in context.

Longevity: Couples who in 1968 – only 20% of marriages had ended in divorce by the 15th wedding anniversary but for those who married in 1998 almost a third of their marriages had ended by this time

‘We have seen a significant portion of couples who marry doing so after a period of cohabitation.

‘They opt to convert those relationships into marriages because of the greater security which it represents in the absence of rights for cohabitees.

WHAT’S IN A WEDDING? HOW COUPLES SPEND THEIR £20,000

A recent study suggests that the typical bride will spend £1,927 on a dress, cosmetic treatments, shoes, veil, lingerie, jewellery and accessories for their wedding.

Dressing the church or reception with flowers will cost an average of £381.

The average figure for an engagement ring is put at £1,412, while the bride and groom will get little change out of £1,000 for their simple wedding bands.

The biggest bills surrounds the reception. The average price for a venue is put at £2,529, while catering services and food adds another £3,292. Many will spend at least £7,000 to £10,000 on this section.

Drinks, including the celebratory fizz, comes in at £1,242, while the cake will add another £205.

Most weddings will offer entertainment, perhaps a disco, with the average price tag put at £456.

The second highest cost of the wedding is the honeymoon, with the average post-wedding holiday costing £3,220.

All brides and their families will want a record of the day, and it is not good enough to rely on a relative with a digital camera. The survey includes £839 for photography and another £400 for a video recording.

Other costs include £262 on an engagement party, more than £400 on stag and hen dos and nearly the same amount on gifts for people involved in the big day.

After transport, hotels and other arrangements the average cost is £20,000 but many spend even more.

Mr Brown added that the extremes at which divorce was reported among men illustrated their ‘relative simplicity’ in separating domestic ties.

He said: ‘When couples are young, they often don’t have the kind of substantial assets or children which can sometimes make for complex divorces.

‘In middle-age, they may have more cash and property to divide but their children may have already left home and so there are fewer people to consider when ending their marriage.

‘Those in between often find that there isn’t enough cash to split between two households and, of course, the need to provide for young children.

‘That can mean couples remaining together despite evident tensions for the sake of their families.’

It came as unhappy parents were told they should divorce because that is what their children want them to do.

Eight out of ten children think their parents should split up rather than try to patch up a rocky marriage, it was claimed.

A report by family lawyers’ group Resolution said an overwhelming majority of young people felt it was ultimately better that their parents divorce rather than stay together unhappily.

The call from the most influential organisation of divorce lawyers drew a furious reaction from supporters of marriage.

Former High Court family judge Sir Paul Coleridge called Resolution’s conclusions shocking and irresponsible.

Sir Paul, head of the Marriage Foundation pressure group, said: ‘Every child who has been confronted by the spectre of family breakdown wants above all else for their family to remain intact or to get back together.

‘Family breakdown has to be confronted for the real and lasting damage it does to children and not massaged away by superficially comforting and, from the family lawyers’ point of view, self-serving platitudes.’

The Resolution report was based on a survey of 514 people aged between 14 and 22 whose parents separated or divorced.

Rise of silver-separators: Number of over-50s splitting up after years of marriage continues to rise

The growing number of ‘silver separators’ is in stark contrast to the falling divorce rates among younger couples.

The lack of stigma of attached to splitting up after years of marriage and the increasing financial independence of women is believed to fuelling the surge.

Couples could be waiting for their children to leave home before getting divorced, lawyers said today.

Contrast: More over-50s and over-60s are divorcing than ever compared to dropping rates across other age groups

New statistics from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) show the number of couples getting divorced in England and Wales has decreased again with the over-50s the only major group showing an increase.

The ONS compared these new 2013 figures with those for 2003, and found that while divorce in virtually all age groups had decreased there was an increase only in the oldest age bracket and in the small number of men under 20 who separate from their spouses.

Family lawyer Marilyn Stowe said she believes more parents may be staying together ‘for the sake of the children’ and this accounts for older people getting divorced.

Ms Stowe, from Stowe Family Law, said: ‘After looking at the ONS figures, it seems more parents are now staying together for the sake of their children and waiting until they are older before bringing their marriage to an end.

‘Couples seem to have weathered the storm together particularly for the sake of the children. When the children have left home, given longer life spans, a general increase in wealth, easier pension and wealth sharing, all can lead to this rise we are also seeing in divorce rates for couples in later middle age.’

Alison Hawes, partner at Irwin Mitchell solicitors, said: ‘The issue of so-called silver separation is now more common and acknowledged than ever before. We have seen a number of cases when people at this point in their life simply drift apart, often as a result of empty nest syndrome which emerges when children have grown up and left the family home.

‘This shifts the dynamics of a relationship and can mean that issues or animosity which had been placed to one side in the past comes once again to the fore.

‘Similarly, with life expectancy rising, those in unhappy relationships may simply not be looking to spend another 20 or 30 years in their current situation.’