I Wore Lingerie to Bed for 7 Nights — and My Sex Life Went Bonkers
June 10, 2015 by admin
Filed under Latest Lingerie News
Surprising Ben with new outfits was starting to feel like a game that I could easily win by acknowledging the rules: It’s like, you know men like when women wear sexy stuff. So if you want to be the sexy girlfriend, you wear it, and you effortlessly dominate anything that competes for your boyfriend’s attention (Bye, phone!). Besides, while Ben and I had always been super affectionate, it was like he couldn’t take his hands off me since night one.
After we said good night to his sister (who was still sleeping on our couch), and Ben went to the bathroom to wash up, I swapped my PC pajamas for the black romper, using the plan I’d failed to carry out the previous night. Then I slipped into bed. When Ben joined me, he was, again, overjoyed. We turned on the AC and had sex super quietly.
Night 6
Playsuit, L’AGENT BY AGENT PROVOCATEUR, $90
Ben’s sister was out with some friends for the evening, so we were finally alone in our apartment. It was the perfect night to wear something ballsy: A hot pink, lacy, assless jumpsuit with a crotch slit for good measure. It was something that I would have never, ever, imagined myself wearing before, let alone wearing with confidence.
But six nights into my streak, I had very little modesty left and a boyfriend who (god bless him) still seemed hungry for more.
So I strapped into the getup, giddy with confidence. I laughed when I looked in the mirror. How insane is this? I thought. He’ll love it.
When Ben walked into the bedroom and saw me huddled under a sheet, he seemed more suspicious than intrigued.
“Um, wow,” he began as he peeled off the blankets. “You know I like this … but I hope you’re not spending all your money on this stuff,” he said, his practicality piercing the mood. For a second, I felt not sexy but silly.
“You’re not writing this for work are you? Are you writing a story? Did you get this stuff for free?” He was on to me. I conceded and told him about the seven-day experiment.
I never planned not to tell Ben about the whole thing. At the time, I thought we’d have more fun if I maintained the element of surprise. And we did have fun! Loads and loads of toe-curling, neighbor-waking fun.
We’d had a super intimate, sex-filled week and were feeling especially close to one another. Here he was, thinking he had the world’s best girlfriend — one who decided to upgrade her pajamas out of the kindness of her heart and the desire to please him. Then, all of a sudden, he was blindsided by a major ulterior motive and the prospect of an audience peeking into his sex life.
Ben accused me of faking my way through everything that had gone on that week. “It’s not real. You never would have worn that stuff just for me, and we wouldn’t have had all that sex,” he said. Still in my hot pink playsuit, I realized he was right.
But only partially. The intimacy, the sex, the confidence I’d developed from wearing sexy stuff — all that was the real deal. And I wouldn’t have volunteered to go so far outside of my comfort zone for any old assignment. I was doing it for Ben.
To me, it was clear that the most fake part of our steamy week was the lingerie. Before the challenge, I’d felt like lingerie was just a costume that women wear to put on a show for their partners. But my relationship with Ben goes so much deeper than theatrics. In real life — in our lives — sex isn’t a show and seduction shouldn’t require costume. After all, we’ve always had amazing sex without any lingerie.
Feeling terribly guilty and teary-eyed, I awkwardly shimmied out of the jumpsuit and back into my PJ shorts and tank top, folding into fetal position on my side of the bed. “I’m not mad at you,” Ben said. “I just need to digest it.”
Night 7
Cropped Cami, $68, and Hipster, $40, ONLY HEARTS
On the last official night of my challenge, I felt particularly conflicted. I’d grown to love wearing luxe negligees. It just felt so classy to slip into bed wearing boudoir garments, and it had helped me feel way more confident about my body. But I worried that I’d ruined lingerie for Ben.
Ultimately, I decided to say fuck it. While I’d begun the challenge with Ben in mind, it was becoming clear that I was the one who’d reaped the greatest rewards. Just six nights of skimpier sleepwear made me feel immeasurably more comfortable in my skin and my bed. Besides, I thought, it’s just as easy to slip on something sexy as it is to put on any old PJs. So I picked out a lacey cropped tank and matching undies from my stash. They were sexy but full-coverage, so I didn’t feel like I was trying way too hard.
“I’m wearing this because it feels good, just so you know,” I announced to Ben as I entered the bedroom.
“You look great,” he said. “Come here.” Then he lifted the covers for me to climb into bed next to him.
We had amazing sex that night. Now that he’s over the big betrayal, and I’m over dressing up for the sake of dressing up, I have every intention to keep my new stuff in my regular PJ rotation — but not just for Ben. For me.
*Names have been changed because some writers’ moms (and their boyfriends’ moms) read Cosmo and don’t need all the details.
Styled by Charles Manning. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram.
