Same Same’s SEX SURVEYresults!
December 20, 2014 by admin
Filed under Choosing Lingerie
A grand total of 2,068 Same Same readers told us all about their sex lives. Thanks so much to you all for being so open. Now it’s time to reveal what you told us!
Brought to you by our mates at SexToys247, this was our inaugural Same Same Sex Survey. 77.4% of those who took it identified themselves as gay men, 12.4% were lesbians, 3.6% were bisexual women, and 3.3% were bisexual men. 14 transgender woman and 10 transmen also completed the survey, along with 21 people who answered our gender question with ‘Other’.
Around half of our survey respondents said they were in a closed partnership. Many others were single, and 10% were in an open relationship. Our lesbian and bi women survey-takers were much more likely to be in a relationship: 73.3%. Only 1.1% said they were in an open relationship, compared to 11.7% of the males.
How often do you have sex?
What’s interesting here is how our gay and lesbian results are very similar to those in the general population. The Australian Sex Census last year got almost the exact same numbers we did for this question. So it seems from these results that same-sex partners have sex about the same amount as heterosexual ones. Are you getting enough?
We asked you to be really honest with this one: Do you normally enjoy the sex you have?
Around half of the responders ticked ‘Yes, most of the time’, and another quarter were also quite happy… but suggested they were keen on some new adventures from time to time.
17.5% said they enjoyed sex ‘sometimes’, but very few people (less than 1%) ‘never’ enjoy the sex they have, while 4.3% say they just aren’t having sex at the moment.
Of the just over 300 lesbian and bi women who took our survey, they were, on average, even happier with the sex they’re having than the guys. Over 60% ticked ‘Yes, most of the time’, compared with just under 50% for the guys.
For this question we also left space for people to type in other answers, and we got such a wide variety, covering the whole gamut of possible emotions:
“Blissed.” “Overwhelmingly Grateful.” “Content.” “Connected.” “Wanted.” “Relieved.” “Relaxed.” “Puffed.” “Breathless.” “Excited.” “Adventurous.” “Reinvigorated.” “Euphoric.” “Buzzing.” “On top of the world.” “Mind blowing freaking amazing.”
“Awkward.” “Confused.” “Anxious.” “Remorseful.” “Physically very satisfied, but emotionally unfulfilled.” “Something was missing.” “Used.” “Lonely.” “Dirty.” “Disgusted.” “In pain.”
“Indifferent.” “Wondering what was the point of what I just did.” “Meh.”
“Stressed because I want more sex than her and the thought of sex finishing means we wouldn’t have sex again for another 2-4 weeks.”
“Going away sex so it was complicated.” “Sad, because we both knew it was over.”
“Hope when I finally do I will be happy. NERVOUS, especially since I just want to get first time over with. Am I the only 28-year-old virgin?”
How did you meet you last partner?
People meet each other in such a variety of ways. We know dating websites and apps are increasingly popular, but 18% met their last sex partner through friends, 12% met at a bar or a club,6.3% met at a social event, 4.7% met at a sex venue, and 4% met at work.
Women were much more likely to have met their last partner through friends – 24.7% said they had. 14% met through a social event, and also 10% met them at work.
We also asked people how many sexual partners have you had in your lifetime so far? With such a range of answers, an average amount would be meaningless. Many typed that they’d “lost count”, while others rounded their numbers off to the nearest 10, 100, or 1,000. Many were specific – “9”, “16”… “just 1”, while one just told us “you must be kidding!”
Many of the women who answered the question had a specific single-digit number, or one in the teens or twenties. Though there were plenty of high numbers among them too. “Too many guys while discovering my sexuality, and 8 women,” one told us. Another simply typed: “Many.”
How do you feel after sex?
After it’s all over, do you bask in the afterglow? The most popular of the replies we gave you to select was ‘Satisfied’, ‘Happy’ and ‘Loved’, with far fewer people choosing ‘Disappointed’ or ‘Guilty’.
Lesbian and bi women were 10% more likely to choose ‘Happy’ than gay and bi men, and were 15% more likely to choose ‘Loved’.
How kinky are you?
We asked a variety of questions covering a few things people may’ve done in bed… and out of bed.
91% of survey respondents had tried oral sex in the 69 position. 90.8% of the gay and bi men surveyed had experienced anal sex in the ‘top’ role, while 92.4% said they’d been in the ‘bottom’ role. 68.6% told us they’d used toys like a dildo or vibrator while having sex with someone – but of the women we surveyed, over 87% had
70.9% of the gay men surveyed had experienced a threesome, while 43.6% of lesbians told us they had done.
Sex with food was much more popular for same-sex attracted women than for men. Almost 60% of the lesbians in our survey had done it, but only 34% of the gay men.
82.6% of gay men said they’d sent naked selfie to someone, and 68% had tried sex over the net, but for women those percentages were much lower – 59% had sent naked selfies, and only 39% had clicked onto websex.
Let’s get kinky. 24% of our 1,956 survey respondents said they’d engaged in BDSM. 32% had spanked or whipped someone, while 39% revealed they themselves had been spanked or whipped.
“I’m submissive and spend 100% of my time submissive to my daddy,” typed one survey respondent. “I love pain, both giving and receiving,” another told us.
It went on: “I like being choked and slapped – but not too rough.” “Biting, scratches and pain in general.” “Being restrained and rough treatment.” “Erotic asphyxiation, latex, spanking, submission.” “Shibari” “wax play” “daddy/son” “bed of nails.” “public humiliation” “food and restraints” “orgasm denial” “Dom, leaving lots of marks.” “Locking my penis in a chastity cage.” “Being a French Maid.”
What about fetishising parts of the body? A lot of people simply wrote “feet”. Or “nipples”.There was also “ears” “hands” “hairy” “big dick” “butts” “legs, ankles, thighs.” “Women’s body hair worship.” And don’t forget “armpits”.
Stripping off for sex can be wonderful, but so can dressing up for it. There were many replies fetishising specific items of clothing: “leather” “jockstraps” “lingerie” and “underwear” were very common responses.
It’s amazing the different things that turn people on, and the array of experiences people have with sex. Our survey revealed such a wide variety of sexual interactions. The internet and mobile technology has made it easier than ever to find what you’re looking for.
It seems like whatever you’re into, you’re not alone. Just remember to play safe and respect your partners. Talk to your partner about the sex you’re having, and explore consensually without shame or judgement.
Since we got so many amazing responses to this survey, we’ll do at again this time next year, and will add a few more questions too. We’re keen for your suggestions of great things to ask.
Thanks so much to the amazing crew at SexToys247 for making this survey possible and giving us some great prizes to giveaway. Check out their awesomely large range of sex products you can buy online here.
The top photo on this page is by Inferkiss on flickr and all the graphics are by Nick White.
