Canada’s Black Friday: When shopping, men are from Venus and women are …

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: A Martian goes shopping with a Venusian . . . .

Seriously, it’s no joke. Men and women really are from different planets when it comes to the retail world. They approach it from opposite directions and don’t always appreciate each other’s efforts.

Take the men who slink into lingerie stores and buy confections that are more for their benefit than the recipient’s. I claim credit for coining, 14 years ago, a descriptive phrase for them: “bra-bar black sheep.”

Larry Rosen doesn’t like stereotyping, but says women tend to be enthusiastic shoppers, bolder and keen to try new styles, while, “in a nutshell, men go to the store if they’re dragged there.”

“Unless it’s something they’re passionate about — sports equipment, perhaps, or electronics — they’re reluctant shoppers,” says Rosen, CEO of the Harry Rosen men’s clothing chain. “It’s a necessary evil.”

Marlo Szellos, a veteran of the fashion industry in Paris, works at the Holt Renfrew department store as a “personal shopper” — a consultant who will do as much of the heavy lifting as her clients require.

That ranges from offering basic advice to pulling a selection of things off the racks that she’s sure a client will like. Or, in extreme cases, choosing something and sending it off, sight unseen.

It’s all a matter of trust. And that’s one of the “huge differences” she sees between male and female shoppers.

“Guys will trust you right off the bat,” she says. “Women, you have to build their trust and show that you’re on their side.”

Men shopping for themselves tend to be faster and more decisive, Szellos says. “They understand that we’re all different and clothing has to be tailored. If a woman puts something on and it doesn’t fit perfectly, she’ll give it up.”

“Men like to buy things in multiples. If they see something they like, they’ll buy two. Women generally will never do that.”

When it comes to a man buying for a woman, most want to be involved in the selection process, Szellos says. But not always.

“I don’t want it to be, ‘Here, this is what you should get her.’ But for some male clients, I can have it wrapped up and waiting for them so they don’t have to come and choose.

“And there’s one . . . he emails me: ‘It’s her birthday. What do you think?’ I used to send him a couple of photos and he’d say, ‘Great.’ Now, I don’t even send pictures.”

Men, including her boyfriend until she nipped it in the bud, often wear clothing that’s a size too big, she says. “You think you’re a certain size and when you’re on your own, you reach for that size. But if you go down a size, the difference is amazing.

“Women, of course, can go the other way. They think they’re a size 2 and they’re really a 6.”

If there’s one thing men can learn from women, Rosen says, it’s the openness with which women will look at new colours and styles. “They’ll at least try them on. They find it quite entertaining.”

“Very often, when a guy’s trying on something and he’s with a woman, she’ll be the one who says, ‘Yeah, that looks good on you.’ Men on their own tend to buy the same suit over and over again. But new is good.”

There can be few men on this, or any other, world who haven’t had a spectacular failure shopping for their significant other.

But it cuts both ways. My wife once reasoned that, because I wore motorcycle jackets a lot and a down vest in winter, an expensive down-filled leather vest would be the perfect Christmas gift.

It was the day after Boxing Day when I finally broke down and told her that, although I appreciated the thought, I was less than thrilled with the garment. Especially since I’d thought the package was the electronic drum-kit I’d pointedly being admiring for weeks.

Peace was maintained (and I got the drums). Intergalactic wars have started over less.

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